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Attention! Achtung! Doctor Says Listening To Adele Makes You Gay!

News

Normally we do not highlight things that are going to air on Limey Socialist BBC TV, but for this we'll make an exception, because this poor openly gay UK doctor set himself the task of coming to America to go undercover and explore the wide variety of ex-gay/un-gaying/whatever "therapies" that we have to offer. Land of the free, home of the terrible. That's us.


In order to investigate, "Undercover Doctor" Dr. Christian Jessen endures therapies (we can't even believe we're calling them that, but we're too lazy to scare quote them for the whole post) that include the relatively weird and probably semi-harmless, except for that whole part where they shame you for being who you are. (They also include the not-semi-harmless at all, of course. We'll get to those.)

Retired doctor John Smid from Texas offers rehab and orders him to strip his life of things that encourage him to be gay. He throws out Jessen’s Adele CD and tells him: “Adele is very popular within the gay community. You have to listen to Christian music.” Smid also makes him bin his tight undies claiming they will “stir his sensuality” and make him want sex.

In Dallas he visits a doctor who says he can change people’s sexuality through colouring books.

Back in London he meets a pastor who offers exorcisms to rid people of “gay demons’’.

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Image by Mariordo, Wikimedia Commons

In what seems like a perfectly logical move where corporations are people, MGM International Resorts is suing all the victims of the Las Vegas massacre in federal court. But don't worry -- at least the company isn't seeking damages from them for its own corporate pain and suffering! Instead, the lawsuit is a maneuver to head off liability claims related to the mass shooting last October 1, as is only right and just. All they want is what's coming to them, like immunity from damages and some ill will from consumers, which will no doubt blow over eventually.

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Do-Nothing Republicans Continue Doing Nothing About Traitor Trump

Can you keep a crook in office while not looking crooked yourself?

Russia

Monday in Helsinki, Donald Trump stood next to Russian President Vladimir Putin, the official sponsor of Trump's White House reality show, and glibly debased America and its institutions in exchange for a soccer ball, which frankly is more than his soul was ever worth. Republican leaders, defenders of liberty all, strongly condemned the president's actions. House Speaker Paul Ryan went so far as to say, "There's no place for this. [He] should apologize. That's dangerous for our society, that's dangerous for our democracy."

Sorry, no, that was a statement Ryan made when Rep. Maxine Waters suggested citizens personally let members of Trump's cabinet know how much they suck. Ryan's actual statement post-Helsinki reminded me more of the "vaguebooking" your friend posts on social media when their marriage is collapsing.

There is no question that Russia interfered in our election and continues attempts to undermine democracy here and around the world. That is not just the finding of the American intelligence community but also the House Committee on Intelligence. The president must appreciate that Russia is not our ally. There is no moral equivalence between the United States and Russia, which remains hostile to our most basic values and ideals. The United States must be focused on holding Russia accountable and putting an end to its vile attacks on democracy.

"Sometimes you realize you should've listened to your family and friends. You should trust they know what's best for you. It can turn out that your heart was wrong all along."

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