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Bachmann Memoir: Bush Was a Socialist, Boehner Was Dean Martin

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One of the funniest things Michelle Bachmann ever did – this week! – was to name hernew book “Core of Conviction,” by which she means she should be convicted for being criminally insane. And now, courtesy of some tortured bet-losing news room intern who was forced to read an advance copy of her certifiable rantings, a sneak peek: she, uh, thinks that former President George W. Bush (the cute one) is a raging "socialist" for bailing out the banking industry, because Michele Bachmann has no idea what the word "socialist" or any other words at all even mean.


From the ABC News Blahg:

In the book, she criticizes Bush and then Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson, who pushed for the $700 billion TARP program for “embracing a kind of ‘bailout socialism.’”

She said it was “painful” when GOP presidential nominee Sen. John McCain supported the bailout and called it “disappointing” when then House Minority leader Rep. John Boehner also backed the legislation, according to Fox.

“I believe that had McCain opposed the bailout — if he had made a clean break, opposing Paulson and standing for principle at that crucial moment — he could have changed the 2008 election,” Bachmann writes.

Right, McCain losing had nothing to do with forgetting his lines every other day and generally coming off like an angry/confused old geezer.

ABC News also manages this stellar line of reportage: “The Minnesota congresswoman is otherwise full of praise for both Bush and Boehner.” Ha ha, we are too! We love all body parts. And the rest of Bachman's book is apparently a litany of scorn for ACORN activists and other libruls and a catalogue of utterly bizarre praise for her conservative idols, like this childish hallucinatory moment when she was ogling John Boehner:

“As he lit up a cigarette on the porch, I suddenly realized who he reminded me of — the TV singer and movie star Dean Martin!”

WTF?

Though referred to as a “memoir,” Core of Conviction is just one of those ghost-written I’m-running-for-president exercises. (Think of it as a booby prize: Even if her campaign fails – and it will – all the free media attention will boost book sales.) Therefore, we see no reason why anyone will be talking about it a week from now. [ABC]

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Cripes the News has been awful lately! And so Yr Editrix suggested we find some good, positive news. Especially after we pitched writing a Wonket about this Mother Jones story on how global warming may be killing the whales, even though Donald Trump knows their prince. (Reply: "Nope. FOR SURE NOT THAT.") And so, as a reminder that a gooder world is possible and apropos of nothing at all that definitely didn't set your Editrix off on Twitter, where she has been stewing and bitching most shrillfully about the 2016 election and the 2020 election and any terrible similarities thereof and thereupon and therefore and thereto, we present a collection of videos of Elizabeth Warren yelling at big banks and calling for them to be broken up and their criminal operators to go to jail. Puppies and kittens will only get you so far, after all.

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