Hooray, all ye patriots, for the House Intelligence Committee has locked the dumbest Trump villain, Rep. Devin Nunes, in a closet and told him he's not allowed to say "Russia" or "wire tapps" ever again, just because he's under investigation for revealing classified information. Now that the idiot chairman is out of the way, the committee is free to recommence its work, which is to find out just how much the Trump campaign colluded with Russia to steal the election. The Republicans on the committee, of course, are investigatingĀ Obama doing "wire tapps" inside Trump's microwave, because Republicans are like toddlers -- you have to give them something to do, otherwise they are just running around screaming and pooping on things.

Anyway, the committee has announced a new open hearing (which we bet we will liveblog!) to happen on May 2, to make up for how Devin Nunes canceled the last scheduled hearing, because he was scared somebody might say something mean about his real dad Donald Trump. Even better than that, the committee has invited former acting attorney general Sally Yates, to come testify. Hooray! She is your hero! Here, have a press release:

Yesterday, the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence sent two letters related to its investigation into Russian active measures during the 2016 election campaign. The first letter was sent to FBI Director James Comey and National Security Advisor Admiral Mike Rogers, inviting them to appear at a closed hearing on May 2, 2017.

The second letter was sent to former CIA Director John Brennan, Director of National Intelligence James Clapper and former Deputy Attorney General Sally Yates inviting them to appear at an open hearing to be scheduled after May 2nd.

Yates was a big part of the reason Nunes canceled that last hearing. The White House had been muttering bullshit at her about how she wasn't really allowed to testify, because "presidential privilege" or something. She, of course, replied, "Eat me." So Nunes killed it, because how can Sally Yates hurt Trump's feelings by testifying if there's no hearing for her to testify at?

You'll remember that Yates told the Trump administration A LONG TIME AGO that disgraced former national security adviser Michael Flynn was a foreign agent from ForeignTown, which made them very sad, because the folks squatting in the White House right now wish to be free to collude with Russia and destroy America in peace. So it'll be fun to see what all they do to keep her from testifying this time. Will they order one million pizzas to her house and stack them up outside her front door so she can't get out? PROBABLY.

So anyway, please mark your calendars for May 2 as "Sally Yates 'Bout To Fuck Trump Up, Y'all," and be HERE at Wonkette, so we can watch it together!


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[House Intelligence Committee]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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