President Obama appeared at a rally for Hillary Clinton in Greensboro, North Carolina, Tuesday, and took the opportunity to clear up a few Republican talking points that seem to have been bugging him. For one thing, no, talking about how being famous lets you get away with grabbing women however you want is not "locker room banter," it is plain ol' talking about sexual assault. For another, said Obama, there's something wrong with Republicans who condemned Trump's comments because it's offensive to the ladies in their lives, because DUH:

“You don’t have to be a husband or a father to hear what we heard just a few days ago and say that’s not right,” Obama said. “You just have to be a decent human being.”

Obama went on to remind the crowd of many of the reasons Donald Trump is unqualified to be president, but didn't attempt a full catalogue since nobody could stay all week:

“Tweeting doesn’t qualify you. Soundbites don’t qualify you. Insults certainly don’t qualify you,” Obama said. “Nobody can fully know what it’s like to manage a global crisis… but I tell you, nobody’s been closer to those decisions than Hillary.”

You want more? Oh, there was more. For instance, on the GOP's sudden realization that Donald Trump talks exactly like Donald Trump: "The guy says stuff nobody would find tolerable if they were applying for a job at 7-Eleven!" We have the full video further down, but if you're in a hurry, just enjoy this six-minute riff on Republicans who seem astonished at Trump: "He’s been saying really bad stuff for a while now. What did you think, he was just going to transform himself?"

The president also got right on that claim by Alex Jones that maybe he and Hillary Clinton are both literal demons who reek of sulfur, giving his hand a sniff and not detecting any. (As if that proves anything! They didn't even check to see if he could be held underwater without drowning, or compare his weight to that of a duck.)

At least three times during the rally, people wearing Alex-Jones inspired t-shirts shouted "Bill Clinton is a rapist!" which turns out to be more than just inspired by Alex Jones -- it's actually an attempt to collect a bounty from Alex Jones and his weirdass conspiracy stew website, InfoWars, as Rachel Maddow explains. You have to like any clip where Rachel starts by stating, flat out, "So this is disgusting..."

Turns out Jones is offering a reward of $1000 to anyone who can show up on TV for a full five seconds wearing an authentic InfoWars "Bill Clinton 'Rape'" t-shirt, or $5,000 for "anyone who can be vocally heard saying 'Bill Clinton is a rapist' while wearing the shirt." Whether Jones is actually paying out the bounties is anyone's guess; we're going to assume that the two young women who pulled off their outer garments to reveal homemade "Bill Clinton is a Rapist" shirts won't qualify, since the point is to sell the Alex Jones branded shirt. No, sorry, gals, not even though you added the InfoWars URL at the bottom in Sharpie. Imagine that, a bunch of Alex Jones fans who didn't read the rules.

So, no, not so much a grassroots protest movement as a bunch of astroturfed morons trying to get on TV because their grifty guru told them they'd get money to do it. It's almost as if they were some sort of hybrid between humans and dim, easily led herd animals. Someone should think of a word for that.

Barry, of course, wasn't fazed a bit, simply saying, "This is the great thing about politics in America. It takes all kinds. Folks will just do all kinds of stuff" and joking that the interruptions were from "some folks who were auditioning for a reality show." And of course, "Don't boo! Vote!" Next time similar nutjobs show up, we'd suggest "Don't boo! Baaaaaa!"

Here's the whole darn thing, if you're in the mood for some Prime Barry:

[Time / Chicago Tribune / MSNBC]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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