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Barack Obama Has Now Totally Ruined Marriage for Bristol Palin

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Oh good, Alaska's at-risk youth have an opinion about Barack Obama's new/oldstance in favor of same-sex marriage! He revealed this to America with a bland anecdote about how his daughters would never think to treat the gay parents of their classmates differently than other parents, remember? Let's go to spokesmom Bristol Palin for the official Wasilla Family Values Coalition response: "It would’ve been helpful for [Barack Obama] to explain to Malia and Sasha that while her [sic] friends' [gay] parents are no doubt lovely people, that’s not a reason to change thousands of years of thinking about marriage." Wine coolers are a much better, if not the only, reason to do so. Go on: "Or that – as great as her [sic] friends may be – we know that in general kids do better growing up in a mother/father home." The "we" in that sentence refers to a fictional tribe of space wombats. She's on a roll!


So let me get this straight – it’s a problem if my mom listened too much to my dad, but it’s a heroic act if the President made a massive change in a policy position that could affect the entire nation after consulting with his teenage daughters?

Someone sounds a *tad* jealous! Now time for some poorly-disguised projection:

Sometimes dads should lead their family in the right ways of thinking. In this case, it would’ve been nice if the President would’ve been an actual leader and helped shape their thoughts instead of merely reflecting what many teenagers think after one too many episodes of Glee.

Still more witty than ninety percent of everything we read in the WaPo opinion section. [Bristol Palin's Word Diarrhea]

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Ann Coulter is not impressed with Donald Trump's presumptuous plan to stop ripping babies away from their mothers and sending them to infant prison. For quite a while, Ann has been obsessively lamenting the very idea that American people even have children to "fill their lives with joy," but now (lol, "now") Ann has shifted her rage to immigrant people. Every time you watch her waving her alien-length arms around in a ritualistic frenzy over how shitty liberals are, just remember that we have already seen the emptiness of her soul laid bare. Remember that time she wanted to eat your baby because you got a tax credit?

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Screenshot- Right Wing watch via Fox News
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It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.

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