He hates your vapid life.St. Barack of Obama spoke to trashy supermarket tabloid US Weekly! They asked him a bunch of dumb questions -- the stuff of interest to, we imagine, US Weekly readers -- and he sort of held his nose and half-answered them. But what kind of underwear does our handsomest president prefer?

The celebrity mag has a whole feature on Obama, and it might even have more words than this blog post. If you're looking for the particular issue, here's a helpful hint: It's the one with Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston on the cover -- you know, like every fucking magazine cover in every supermarket checkout line in America for the past several decades.

US Weekly editors were, obviously, most interested in how much St. Barack knows about US Weekly. His terse, misogynistic, elitist holier-than-thou answer? "My wife reads it."

As Chris Matthews would say, HAH! We bet she just reads it to laugh at the celebrity couples who are not nearly as good looking as Barack and Michelle.

And does Barry ever feel "starstruck"? No, because entertainers are idiots, unless they "do their homework" like George Clooney, who has read many articles about Darfur. George is allowed to hang around.

What about human train wrecks like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears? Surely Barack's daughters are fascinated by these worn-out disasters. No. Obama's girls are repulsed by the antics of the infamous drug addicts.

Finally, briefs or boxers? That was the stupid MTV question asked of Shameless Bill Clinton back in 1994 -- a question planted by original Wonkette editor Tabitha Soren thanks to some drunken dinner with Hunter S. Thompson.

Barack Obama is not answering that underwear question, because of his dignity. But he did tell US Weekly that whatever he wears, "I look good in them."

Barack Obama Refuses 'Boxers or Briefs' Question [US Weekly]


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