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The fiendishly clever President-elect will be taking a train to Washington the week before his inauguration because he caught a whiff of the shit-storm that greets any well-known figure who dares to ridean airplane into our nation's capital. Barry said, "No thanks, I will just kick it on the train with my good friend the Amtrak whore Joe Biden," and VOILA, our nation's railways were saved forever from bankruptcy and neglect.


Obama will start out in Philadelphia and then go on to Wilmington, Delaware, the noble ancestral home of the Scrantonese pop star Joe Biden. Obama, Biden, and their families will continue onward to Baltimore before arriving, 15 hours later, on a standing-room-only train full of angry commuters and the stink of stale urine, in lovely Washington, DC. Everyone will curse the President-elect for making their train so late.

Obama to arrive in Washington by train [AP]

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