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The hustler in his native environsSenator Hope might suck at bowling, but he can shoot a decent game of pool. This is because hard-working Americans long ago ceded the sport to fey intellectuals, San Francisco bike messengers, and migrant workers. Oh you want pictures of your Hopey doing the old behind-the-back shot left-handed? We got 'em after the jump!


He is thinking about how best to get into your pants, America.

Ha ha, actually he is thinking about when he gets to leave West Virginia forever

Just like in the movies

That? Did that do it?

Fuck you, bowlers.

He shoots, he scores, he laughs, the press furiously masturbates.

UPDATE: Oh and look here is footage showing that he was already capable of pushing a ball around a table with a stick TWO MONTHS AGO. Why has the press been silent on this???

Obama Cues Up to Play Pool [The Caucus]

He can't bowl, but he can shoot [Political Intelligence]

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BREAKING ACHTUNG EVERYBODY CRY AND PANIC AND HAVE ROLLICKING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE, BECAUSE ROBERT MUELLER DID THE THING.

We don't know what the thing means yet, but we know that he gave the thing to Attorney General Bill Barr, who is presumably looking at the thing right now. Donald Trump is at Mar-a-Lago, so he does not have the thing, because NO THING FOR ILLEGITIMATE PRESIDENTS. Studies show that according to sources close to the investigation who may or may not be close to the investigation, we might have some real information on what is inside the thing sometime this weekend.

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Whatcha doin' down there at Mar-a-Lago, Mister Normal President Of America?

OK ... huh?

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