Barack Obama Puts Duck Dynasty Guy In Free Speech Prison
A&E Network has suspended Phil Robertson, star of the Duck Dynasty teevee program, following his charming opinions on teh gheys and what they do with their man-parts. In a recent interview in GQ, Robertson explained that
“It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.”
Needless to say, Robertson's suspension is drawing angry condemnations from people who demanded that Martin Bashir be fired for suggesting that if Sarah Palin had some firsthand experience of the ugly realities of slavery, she wouldn't compare the federal debt to that institution. Robertson is being persecuted for his Christian faith, you see, and America's sacred tradition of free speech is under attack.
Also getting significantly less play, but just as weird, are Robertson's charming reflections on how nice things were in the Jim Crow South:
"I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I'm with the blacks, because we're white trash. We're going across the field. ... They're singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, 'I tell you what: These doggone white people' -- not a word!
"Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues,"
The blacks, they were happy back then, and he oughta know, because he was there, and not one black person ever complained to a white kid about racism.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.