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Barack Obama Thinks That He Is Justin Bieber

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Barack Obama is giving a concert or something, you guys! At least that is what we assume is happening, since we find the news that people are fainting during a "speech highlighting new tax breaks and grants aimed at expanding the use of alternative-energy vehicles" sort of hard to believe. Is there video? There's video, after the jump!


Eh, Barack Obama just sounds tired of watching people drop during his speeches. He has been making this "it happens all the time" joke about his supporters fainting constantly since 2009. What has Obama learned in three years of doubling as crowd medical coordinator? "You always gotta eat before you stand a long time. That's a little tip," he adds. Sensible advice from the President! Ha ha, and now all we can picture is the next Rick Santorum rally full of angry, hypoglycemic wingnuts passing out in giant waves, to protest socialism.

[Twitter/YouTube]

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We have been hearing ever since late last week that Michael Cohen is probably about to be arrested and probably going to be indicted on one million charges and probably maybe might be about to try to flip and make a deal so that he doesn't end up in prison for the rest of his natural life. In fact, we have been hanging our hopes on it, because everything else sucks. Sure, we are still filled with joy over how Paul Manafort is on day four of JAIL, MOTHERFUCKER, JAIL, but then we remembered what is happening on the border and what we are saying right now is we need something happy.

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It was a big weekend for the New Cruelty, with the first tent city for kids opening in Texas and immediately becoming the focus of protests, the head of Homeland Security lying about the Trump administration's family separation policy, and one of the architects of that policy, Stephen Miller, telling the New York Times about what a brilliant policy it is. And more and more kids continue to be taken from their families. Let's round up the latest in the ongoing nightmare our crapsack nation has become.

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