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Barack Obama Was Probably Banging Jill Kelley Obviously, Except For How He Is Gay

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Well this is much better! Tampa nonsense queen Jill Kelley and her evil twin visited the White House three times this year, an administration officialtold AP. Obviously, this means President Barack Obama has been boning both of them, in the SitRoom, while eating popcorn and laughing while watching Christopher Stevens die. He did this because he is a murderer, obviously, but also probably to throw people off the scent of his Muslim homosexual marriage.


An Obama administration official says a Tampa Bay socialite whose emails triggered the eventual downfall of CIA director David Petraeus visited the White House three times this year with her sister, twice eating in the Executive Mansion mess.

The official says that Jill Kelley, who initiated an investigation that ultimately unveiled Petraeus' extramarital affair, and her sister had two "courtesy" meals at the White House mess as guests of a mid-level White House aide. Kelley and her family also received a White House tour. The visits occurred during the past three months.

The number of visits (three) means that Kelley and her sister are now official White House spokespeople, just like Hilary Rosen, and the Obama administration owns everything (thousands of pages of emails, plus "diplomatic inviolability") they have ever said.

[AP]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Gavin McInnes, the super gross dude who co-founded Vice and later founded "The Proud Boys," a fraternal order of yahoo racists who can "name five brands of cereal" had some thoughts this week on the detention centers that children being torn from their parents' arms are being sent to.

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If you are ever in Lexington, Virginia and are looking for a nice, farm-to-table restaurant with a quality clientele, look no further than The Red Hen! Last night, Sarah Huckabee Sanders and her family went to go eat there, and found that she was not exactly not welcome.

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