Been Down So Long It Looks Like Up to Me

To all those who wonder what the fuck was going on today:

Dear Friend of Gawker:

We appreciate your interest in the health of our gossipy step-sister. To answer your questions:

-- It is not a denial of service attack

-- It is not the work of Anna Wintour, Graydon Carter, the Olsen twins, Vincent Gallo, Lloyd Grove, or any other of the approximately 675 people who have put Gawker on their enemies list.

-- It is due to a massive fuck-up at Network Solutions. That's the technical term. To put in slightly more accessable language: Imagine that your bank erased all the money in your bank account because someone's assistant had sex on their keyboard. (That's another technical term.) Also, your bank is run by cosmetic testing monkeys. Who are on crack. Joel at Gizmodo has a more detailed explanation (which unfortunately lacks pictures and diagrams).

-- What this all means for you: You have been deprived of almost the entire Gawker media empire. See, under the surface, we're all one big living organism, but an organism that is now tearing out its hair and futilely hitting its laptop with a hammer, much to the dismay of our barista.

And trust us, it depresses even us to be drunk this early in the day.

Thanks again for your interest,

Wonkette and Defamer


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