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It appears that someone suggested Dr. Ben Carson ask Jeeves about the Holocaust. You know, the real Holocaust, as opposed to the Republican fan-fic one, where that commie Muslim Adolf Hitler rose to power on a platform of marriage equality, free abortion on demand, and repealing the Second Amendment. After some long hard brain-thinking, Carson has concluded that his words about how those pussy Jews shoulda never handed over their guns when the entire Nazi regime came for them, because then they wouldn't have ended up all genocided and stuff, were perhaps not what he really meant to say -- even though the guy won't shut up about Hitler, so yeah, we think that's exactly what he meant to say. But look, he is sorry-ish that we all misunderstood his point:

What I do know however, beyond any shadow of a doubt, is that I never intended for my words to diminish the enormity of the tragedy or in any way to cause any pain for Holocaust survivors or their families.

Both those who perished and those who survived the Nazi camps deserve our deepest reverence, as do the partisan fighters who rose in armed opposition.

Awww. That's a nice pivot from blaming the victims for their own deaths, as he also did after the shooting in Roseburg, Oregon, when he chastised the not-yet-cold corpses for not refusing to be shot to death, like how he would have done:

Not only would I probably not cooperate with [the shooter], I would not just stand there and let him shoot me. I would say, "Hey, guys, everybody attack him. He may shoot me, but he can’t get us all."

Some people interpreted Carson's similar comments about Holocaust victims a few days later to mean Carson was also blaming Jews for their own genocide. Gosh, can't imagine why. And the defense of Carson by supporter and fundraiser (and, sweet fucking Moses, Fox News psychiatrist) Dr. Keith Ablow -- that it was a "bad idea" for Jews to cooperate and surrender and let themselves be Holocausted like that -- didn't help.

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But you see, Carson has reflected on that time he went to Israel last year. That's where, you may recall, he found the country's "complex" political system, which lacks the superior American standard of "Republicans, Democrats, and independents," very confusing for his doctor brain and asked, “Why don’t they just adopt the system we have?" And it was during that trip that he learned, but apparently forgot but then just recently remembered again:

I concluded that there are vital lessons that can be drawn from the Holocaust’s senselessness and savagery. One is that going back centuries the Jewish people have somehow managed to find a way to overcome every oppressor who sought to destroy them.

Pretty amazing, when you think about it, that the Jewishes somehow managed to overcome their oppressors, even before they had the Second Amendment right to be the good guys with guns, so they could BANG! BANG! YOU'RE DEAD! all the bad guys with guns. Just imagine how much Greek ass Judah Maccabee could have kicked if he'd had an AR-15!

The point, Carson now realizes, after defending his horrid comments and dismissing criticism from the Anti-Defamation League as "total foolishness" -- have any of those guys ever "seen some of those actual shoes first-hand at the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C. and at Yad Vashem in Israel"? -- is that maybe the 6 million Jews who perished in the Holocaust are not entirely to blame for allowing themselves to be disarmed, and that is why he hearts Israel:

[T]he Jewish people need a state and that they must have the ability to defend themselves in order to ensure that “never again” remains a reality. That state, Israel, has been re-established in their historic homeland.

That's a fair point, but golly gee, it sure would be nice if Jews right here in America didn't have to put up with the kind of overt anti-Semitic bullshit that flows so easily and thoughtlessly from the mouths of anti-Semitic fuck-snot shit-sacks like Ben Carson and his pals and ALL the other Republican presidential candidates who #StandWithIsrael but insist the First Amendment says America is a Christian nation, every law should comply with their Jesus CliffsNotes, and American Jews who have the audacity to support the Democratic Party are a bunch of ignorant self-hating BAD JEWS. And they never say one goddamned fucking syllable about anti-Semitism right here at home in America, because it's coming from inside the rightwing extremist ideology they hold so dear. And they also demonstrate that they don't even know a fucking thing at all about the country they claim to love so much:

As Americans we stand with Israel because the Jewish state embodies many of the same aspects that make the United States the greatest nation in the world: commitment to human rights, religious liberty for all citizens, the rule of law, equal rights for women, a free press, a robust judicial system.

Sure, OK. Except that Israel also has universal healthcare, some of the most liberal (and taxpayer-funded!) abortion policies in the world, and -- brace yourselves, this is really going to shock you if you don't know a fucking thing about Israel -- REALLY STRICT GUN CONTROL. Gun owners must be licensed, trained, background checked, and establish a good reason for having a gun. Oh, and the government keeps a federal registry of gun owners.

Why, it's almost as if the Jewishes in the Jew state of Israel don't even know that's how Hitler was able to kill all the Judeo-Christians!

Not that Carson bothers to actually type the words "I am sorry," but he's sort of semi-implying that if anyone was offended -- and OH YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER, WE SURE WERE -- well, please don't hold that against him, he would still very much like to be the president of the United States of Jesus. He loves Israel a whole lot and is two thumbs down on the Holocaust thing, so sorry not sorry, we good now?

No, asshole, we are not good now. Not-apology not accepted.

[The Jerusalem Post]

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