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Ben Nelson Is 100% Democrat, Except When It Comes To Voting For Things

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Good ol' Ben Nelson is liberal America's favorite Democrat to hate, when they aren't hating semi-Democrat Joe Lieberman for general douchebaggery, or Obama for failing at everything they hoped for him all the time. Well, did you think that maybe Ben Nelson is sick of you guys, too? Tired of all your carping about how he is too conservative, and always not voting for liberal judges, or threatening to vote against major Democratic agenda items? Did you ever think that maybe Ben Nelson is one of these days just going to up and turn Republican? Huh? DID YOU?


Joe Klein did! Just as he did (anonymously) in Primary Colors, Klein weaved a fascinating combination of speculation and fact, imagining a future in which Nelson switches teams after the Republicans get within a seat or two of a Senate majority, or where Senators Nelson, Crist, and Lieberman form an "Independent caucus" and decide who lives and who dies.

The only problem with this theory is that it has no basis in reality, according to Nelson spokeshuman Jake Thompson:

Every year, Congressional Quarterly's vote study confirms Ben Nelson's bipartisanship and independence. He's has cast tough votes, is honored to represent all Nebraskans and will never be, as one blogger has suggested, "up for grabs." Senator Nelson plans to remain a registered Democrat and an independent voice for Nebraska.

Ah ha, except "registered Democrat" doesn't mean squat. WILL BEN NELSON VOTE FOR HARRY REID (or Chuck Schumer, if Sharron Angle shoots Harry Reid to death with bullets)? This is actually the only important question in terms of the Senate's organizational rules. JUST ANSWER THAT DAMN QUESTION, WARIO. Or, you know, don't, and tap your nose knowingly, and get everyone's hopes and anxieties up, and have everyone pay attention to you, that will probably work out well for you.

Also, ladies, do not attempt to "grab" Ben Nelson, as he is not "up for" that. [Time/Huffington Post]

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