Big Drug Bust In Denver As Convention Lame-ification Efforts Continue

In little more than a month, the glut of political insiders and media types that preside over Washington D.C. will all squeeze into a single cardboard box and be dropped from the Enola Gay onto Denver, leveling the city entirely and offering radiation cancer for generations of future re-colonizers. And to make our Washingtonian invaders feel more comfortable during their Democratic National Convention, Denver officials are currently trying to replicate the invaders' hometown with measures designed to eliminate anything fun, anywhere in the city. So yesterday, a team of FBI and "Denver Metro Gang Task Force" agentsarrested 27 members of the city's "Asian Pride" gang and confiscated its cache of over 10,000 Ecstasy tablets. Tragically, there will be no Ecstasy in Denver this August.

For those East Coasters unfamiliar with the history of the American West, it is one riddled with conflict between white, rugged authority figures and the lousy Asians who pop up every so often. Many, many folks of Chinese descent settled in the American West in the 1800s to construct the region's railroads. The White Americans thanked the Chinese wage slaves by bopping them on the head with whiskey bottles and then calling the town sheriffs to arrest them for being "alive" and "Chinese" at the same time. Then during World War II, President Franklin Roosevelt personally rounded up every Japanese-American in his motorized rocket wheelchair and enslaved them in concentration camps, again, in the American West. Roosevelt did this because he assumed they were Chinese railroad workers -- the ones that got away a half-century earlier.

We mention all of this completely factual history now because yesterday marked the culmination of this American cross-racial saga; all of these things happened in the past so that fate might lead us to the situation right now, where you will find yourself completely aware of the dark, world-historical undercurrents at work when Colorado U.S. Attorney Troy Eid says "Coloradans can take pride in Asian Pride’s demise," a mere 40 days before the Washington establishment seeks salvation in the mythic deserts of the West.



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