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Bill Clinton To Rescue Postal Service, Cure Rickets Next

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  • It turns out all you need to goose auto sales is some good old-fashioned citizen bribery. [Washington Post]
  • If anybody can save two comely female journalists from the horrors of North Korean labor camps, it's Bill Clinton. [New York Times]
  • President Obama's two top economic advisors went on TV last weekend and basically said "never say never" when it comes to a middle-class tax hike, so Obama has had those two men sent to Hell or wherever Orly Taitz is from, and he has sent out Robert Gibbs to assure the nation that he will not raise taxes on the middle class ever THE END. [New York Times]
  • Even the bloodless coward Democrats in the Senate are getting a little restless at the slow pace of healthcare reform. [Reuters]
  • The venerable United States Postal Service is not immune to recession, and must consider a series of painful cost-cutting measures in these difficult times. [AP]
  • Jesus christ, people, do you want your kids to grow up with rickets? No? Then feed them some goddamn Vitamin D or make them play outside for 10 minutes. [Health Magazine]
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