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Needs a dragon or something


Who says conservative media outlets never ask Donald Trump the tough questions? On Fox's The O'Reilly Factor Monday night, host Bill O'Reilly interrupted Donald Trump's fantasy about solving all of America's race issues by "bringing jobs back from China" with a note of realism: Lots and lots of American black people will never be able to get jobs because they are "ill-educated and have tattoos on their foreheads." That's a pretty astute observation, coming from a guy who has no idea how the tides work.

Trump, who has always had a great relationship with The Blacks, was explaining how he'll win the black vote:

I’m telling you, it’s an economic message,” Trump said. “If you look at President Obama, he’s been a president for almost eight years, it will be eight years, you have with black youth, with African American youth, you have a 59 percent unemployment."

This is where we should note that according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, it's closer to 32 percent, although the Economic Policy Institute puts the combined unemployed/underemployed rate at around 51 percent. In any case, it's definitely way too high. But don't worry, Donald Trump will bring jobs back from China and Mexico, by force if necessary. He just will, OK?

But O'Reilly remained skeptical, since there are all these cultural factors that make blacks hard to employ (O'Reilly politely refrained from spelling "cultural factors" with an n and two g's):

“But how are you going to get jobs for them?” O’Reilly interjected. “Many of them are ill-educated and have tattoos on their foreheads, and I hate to be generalized about it, but it's true. If you look at all the educational statistics, how are you going to get jobs for people who aren't qualified for jobs?”

We'll confess, we don't have any ready statistics on the percentages of unemployed blacks vs. unemployed whites or hispanics with facial tattoos, but we'll go out on a limb and suggest that Billo is full of shit, as usual. It's a safe operating assumption.

Trump guaranteed that when he's president, Apple computers will once again be made in the USA, just because they will, OK? But O'Reilly, as he does, perseverated:

"But you have to have skills to make Apple computers.”

“It’s more challenging for a poor child in Harlem without parental guidance in a school that’s falling apart than it is for some white kid out in Garden City," he continued. "You say you can bring jobs back, but if the kid isn’t qualified to do the job and can’t do the work – I mean – you’ve got to get into the infrastructure of the African-American community."

Besides, how are you going to get them to stay at work on the assembly line when they're always screaming, "M-Fer, I want some more iced tea!"? This is where we could raise our hands and suggest that actually investing in education for the last 30 years might have been a good idea, instead of simply hoping vouchers and privatized charter schools for some would do the job. But that wasn't Trump's concern. No, Trump had another answer: spirit! He's got it, yes he do! He's got spirit, how about YOU?

"Well it is true. It’s about education, but it’s also about spirit,” Trump said. “A lot of people don’t have spirit. Not only African-Americans, but we don’t have spirit in our country."

Trump would presumably bring back spirit in this country by winning a lot, and possibly by having pep rallies, huge beautiful pep rallies that would get our spirit back, because now, we've got nothing, we never win anymore. Not even when we buy a big prosthetic forehead and wear it on our real head, tattooed or not.

The entire exchange left Yr Wonkette's forehead with a pounding headache right behind our eyes, but it did at least call to mind another idea for creative tattoos that could be applied to both Billo and Donald. In Neal Stephenson's great cyberpunk novel Snow Crash, one of the bad guys is ordered by a court to get his forehead tattooed with a warning to everyone he meets: "Poor Impulse Control."

[Politico / Mediaite]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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