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Los dos hermanosNow that he's the President of Global Business, Bill Richardson is on the A List! People are interested, maybe, in what he has to say! So it's a good thing Esquire just posted some random stuff from an interview with the de-bearded New Mexican. He named his horse after some country music jackass! Barack Obama helped him out at a debate!


Bill Richardson could've been the first Mexican president, and the first Western president since Reagan, and he is a smart dude who flies around the world on Mercy Missions or Diplomatic Things. But he's a pretty lame campaigner, and is too fond of steak and booze and cigars and the ladies, so he never really had a shot at the nomination, even if he made the funniest campaign commercials.

Now, as Secretary of Commerce, the former congressman and Secretary of Energy and ambassador to the United Nations and soon-to-be-former Governor of New Mexico will have a job that is traditionally nothing anybody cares about, but it could be very important now, as President Obama is going to socialize America and seize all small businesses and also the guns of the white people. So what was Bill jabbering about, before he became relevant again, this morning?

  • "Every elegant man should have a nice fountain pen and a nice watch."
  • "New Mexicans have better imaginations than anybody. My point on UFOs is, I don’t know if they’re fact or fiction. But it’s fun. It’s Americana. Why shut down dreams? And Dennis Kucinich said he’d actually seen one."
  • "My mother used to insist that I go to confession almost every day when I was a kid. I’d say, 'This is absurd! Let’s do it every three days. Give me time to sin!'"

Jesus, what is he doing here, auditioning for Larry King's old column in USA Today?

Also, there is a funny story about how Richardson was failing at a Dem debate, because he wasn't paying any attention to the moderator -- he was probably checking out some young ladies in the audience -- and then he gets the question and is all, "Wha?" and Barack Obama whispers "Katrina" to Bill, so Bill is all, "Right, Katrina, here is my plan to solve Katrina, the hurricane that happened several years ago," and later Bill tells Barack thanks dude for saving my ass.

And Barack says, "Nothing to it, brother." This is how minorities talk to each other!

Bill Richardson: What I've Learned [Esquire]

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Cripes the News has been awful lately! And so Yr Editrix suggested we find some good, positive news. Especially after we pitched writing a Wonket about this Mother Jones story on how global warming may be killing the whales, even though Donald Trump knows their prince. (Reply: "Nope. FOR SURE NOT THAT.") And so, as a reminder that a gooder world is possible and apropos of nothing at all that definitely didn't set your Editrix off on Twitter, where she has been stewing and bitching most shrillfully about the 2016 election and the 2020 election and any terrible similarities thereof and thereupon and therefore and thereto, we present a collection of videos of Elizabeth Warren yelling at big banks and calling for them to be broken up and their criminal operators to go to jail. Puppies and kittens will only get you so far, after all.

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