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Bloggers Offer Cool Ten Grand For Stupid-Head Obama's College Transcripts

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Some #WARBLOGGERS are pooling their Koch-muneez and offering the Mitt Romney-wagering sum of TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS to anyone who can shadily fork over total Affirmative-Action-Baby President Bammerz' college transcripts. This, presumably, is because he is soooo stupid. Teleprompterz! 57 states! Derp derp derp. How stupid is he? Well, let's reach into the wayback machine of about two hours ago, and look at how he wrote his LOVE LETTERS:


Facing what he perceives as a choice between ecstatic chaos and lifeless mechanistic order, he accedes to maintaining a separation of asexual purity and brutal sexual reality. And he wears a stoical face before this. Read his essay on Tradition and the Individual Talent, as well as Four Quartets, when he’s less concerned with depicting moribund Europe, to catch a sense of what I speak. Remember how I said there’s a certain kind of conservatism which I respect more than bourgeois liberalism—Eliot is of this type. Of course, the dichotomy he maintains is reactionary, but it’s due to a deep fatalism, not ignorance. (Counter him with Yeats or Pound, who, arising from the same milieu, opted to support Hitler and Mussolini.)

"Counter him with Yeats or Pound, who, arising from the same milieu, opted to support Hitler and Mussolini." Pffft. What a fucking dummy.

So obviously the bloggers would like to point and laugh at NOobaMa's "Gentlemen's C's," unless it's more a case of oh sure his grades are fine, we guess, but he took courses in things like "MARXY MARXY REVOLUTION MARX HOORAY 101," or "Dead Honky: How To Talk Jive," and maybe "Gender-Queer-Porno Studies: Why Don't We Do It (In the Butt and) In the Road." Which all sound like awesome classes, frankly, and we should all go back to college all over again!

But is there anything bad about the bloggers' criminal offer to receive stolen property? Only this: Obama himself is not eligible for the reward, and we think that's stank, as OF COURSE he should be all "nah mang, here's the transcripts, seal raised and everything, and now I am giving your $10,000 to The Center for Atheist Transgendered Scout Masters And Forcible Bortion." Because that would be baller. [DailyCaller]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Donald Trump's presidency has made white nationalism fashionable again. It doesn't help matters that social networking giant Facebook has offered white nationalists a global platform for their hate. Back in May, Motherboard obtained internal documents that revealed how Facebook planned to handle white supremacist content on its site after Charlottesville. It was incredibly stupid.

See, Facebook wouldn't let you post praise of white supremacy as an ideology or identify yourself as a "proud" white supremacist. It would allow you to post praise of white nationalism as an ideology or identify yourself as a "proud" white nationalist. All those tech bros and all those hoodies in the same place and they still couldn't muster the collective brain power to understand that white supremacy and white nationalism are synonymous, by which I mean the exact same thing but with a slightly different arrangement of letters.

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Is Brett Kavanaugh's Evil Twin The Real Attempted Rapist? Maaaaaybe!

Another Pulitzer for Kathleen Parker pls!

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Over this past week, we have heard some fascinating excuses for Brett Kavanaugh having allegedly attempted to rape Dr. Christine Blasey Ford when he was in high school. Hey, he didn't rape us, said some ladies who knew him. It could have just been horseplay, said his spokesperson Carrie Severino! He wasn't even there, said Orrin Hatch! It totally doesn't matter anyway because he has done enough good in his lifetime that he should get to sexually assault like, one lady, said Dennis Prager! Maybe it was a false memory and she hallucinated the whole thing, said the Dilbert guy!

So many possible options. But something was missing. We didn't know it, but we felt it in our bones. And then, today, Pulitzer Prize-winning writer Kathleen Parker dropped it in the Washington Post. What if it wasn't Brett Kavanaugh, she tells us all, very seriously, but rather his evil twin. Or someone who just looked a whole lot like him. Perhaps even this "Bart O'Kavanaugh" we have been hearing so much about.

Let's hear her out!

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