Boston Mayor Will Show Detroit How Much He Loves It By Blowing It Sky High
Oh, Boston. Why don't you do right like those other cities do? We gave you some tongue-kissing-level love yesterday when we found out you'd feed the poors. We scheduled a visit to your fair town that will be economy-stimulating because we drink a lot. (A LOT.) How do you repay our affections? YOU DO NOT. You spurn our love by your mayor Thomas Menino saying that he would like to visit Detroit so he could blow it up. Wait, what??
"I’d blow up [Detroit] and start all over. No, seriously, when it takes a police officer 90 minutes to answer a call, there’s something wrong with the system. Forty percent of the streetlights are out, most of the buildings are boarded up. Why? Inaction, that’s the problem — leadership."
Yep. That's the problem. Not a criminal under-funding of public necessities. Not white flight. Not entrenched poverty. If Boston mayor Tom Menino could just wander in and blow everything to smithereens that would fix everything because rubble is so easy to work with.
Are you thinking what we're thinking? That maybe as mayor of a city that recently pretty tragically and awfully got itself blowed up you shouldn't be yammering on about how blowing up a city would fix things? GOOD THINKING. The mayor of Detroit is of sound mind and also joins you in thinking "no, seriously, Boston mayor. What the hell is wrong with you?"
Detroit Mayor Dave Bing fired back on Tuesday by saying he was disappointed at Menino’s choice of words less than a year after the Boston Marathon bombings.
“It is extremely regrettable that Boston Mayor Thomas Menino used such an unfortunate choice of words to describe what he would do if he came to Detroit,” Bing explained, according to MLive. “I would think the mayor of a city that recently experienced a deadly bombing attack would be more sensitive and not use the phrase ‘blow up.’"
Yep. That. Is the mayor of Boston sorry? Sorta not really, but he is sorry you're sorry:
Menino spokeswoman Dot Joyce says her boss "feels strongly about cities," cares about Detroit's problems and "would like to help in any way he can."
Joyce says "the mayor is sorry that people have taken offense."
Settle down, Detroit...Detroiters? Detroitonians? Detrotizens?? Anyway, settle down you people that live there. Thomas Menino just wants to hug you and pet you and squeeze you and blow you up and call you George. How can you spurn his hunka hunka burning exploding love?