Boston Security Fashion Report

If you thought our first Democratic National Convention fashion report would be about Hillary Clinton's buttercup pantsuit, you were wrong. Wonkette's Correspondent for Stylish If Fascistic Convention Outfits writes into report on the police officers' fashion sensibilities, naming "White Plastic Handcuffs" the Convention's worst accessory (unless you're one of those craigslist types!) Full report after the jump.

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Guide to DNC fuzz:

* The Mass. State Police -- who have long experience with crowd

control -- wear their regular uniforms, with the Smokey Hats.

Usually seen on Beacon Hill.

* Regular uniforms with gold-embroidered insignia:

Boston Police, or other Police forces that you wouldn't have

been surprised to see during the year 2000.

* Blue-embroidered insignia: Sergeants and Officers of the Boston

Police. These guys usually look nicely doughnut-fed.

(There used to be a "Metropolitan Police" which policed certain parks in the region, but I think they were absorbed by the State Police several years ago.

The Black Polo shirts can belong to several different types:

* Federal Agents. They say so in WHITE LETTERING. So far I haven't seen anyone whose outfit says "FBI" on it, but I wouldn't be surprised.

The following two groups wear black polos with SILVER/GREY LETTERING

(which mysteriously shows up better at night than in the daytime).

* "Federal Protective Service"

* "Transit Police".

In general, these are the guys there are far too many of, and they're carrying too many white plastic handcuffs.

Unlike when I used to live in DC, I haven't seen anyone wearing a

Secret Service uniform. Which I guess means they really are secret.



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