BREAKING: Cheap Moocher Joe Biden Begs For Cash To Buy Sandwiches IMPEACH!
In case you missed the most important news of the day because you were busy watching Sen. Harry Reid (D-Bikini Atoll) nuclear bomb the Senate -- metaphorically -- we bring you this extremely important story. Mark your calendars, because you will definitely want to tell your grandchildren where you were when this OUTRAGE!!!!! happened. (Trigger warning for outrage):
Joe Biden made a midday lunch run Thursday to pick up sandwiches for himself and the president, but when it came time to pay the tab, the vice president came up short. [...]
Four sandwiches later, Biden had racked up a bill of $56.25 for his to-go order, exhausting the contents of the vice presidential wallet. So Biden turned to his assistant, Fran Person, to borrow the difference as a shop worker offered one of the sandwiches to be on the house.
How do we know this is an outrage? Because Very Serious Journalist Matt Drudge tweeted it, ergo, outrage. That "cheap" bastard Joe Biden dared to buy some sammiches and did not have enough cash to pay for them and tried to get out of paying them, like some kind of cheap guy, except that he insisted on paying for them but with cash he borrowed, so we don't even know how that makes him cheap, whatever. This might be his Waterloo or his Katrina or maybe even his Obamacare. Or maybe even his Obamacare II, which is apparently what we are now calling stuff we don't like, and screw you if you think that doesn't make sense, why do you hate freedom?