BREAKING: Harry Whittington Suffers Heart Attack; Joke Moratorium Instituted
UPDATE: Bumped to stem the flow of emails. No, he's not dead, and there's no way in hell Cheney will be charged with anything if that changes.
This just in:
The 78-year-old lawyer who was shot by Vice President Dick Cheney in a hunting accident has some birdshot lodged in his heart and he had a "minor heart attack," a hospital official said Tuesday.
Peter Banko, the hospital administrator at Christus Spohn Hospital Corpus Christi-Memorial, said Harry Whittington had the heart attack early Tuesday while being evaluated.
Whittington has been moved back to the intensive care unit as a result of this heart attack. The news is probably very worrisome to Dick Cheney -- who, of course, knows a thing or two about heart attacks...
Here at Wonkette, we feel like we have a little quail egg on our faces. We opined that it was silly and lurid for the media to be so obsessively interested in how much ammunition would be left unremoved in Whittington's body. But it was this unremoved ammunition that gave rise to the heart attack, by moving around inside Whittington's body and lodging into part of his heart.
A moratorium on all jokes related to the Cheney shooting has been instituted -- subject, however, to purchasing a $7 permit for the privilege.