BREAKING: New Yorkers May Not Be Very Nice

Ha ha, but it doesn't love you backRudy Giuliani has always been a loser, but now he meets the narrower, more technical definition of the word, since he ran for president and lost lost lost lost ha ha ha ha LOST er, excuse us, he lost. Anyway, having nothing better to do but enjoy the company of his crazy new wife and loving children millions of dollars earned from 9/11-themed "leadership" talks, Rudy will no doubt go crawling back to the city where he grew up, and where his career was launched. Of course, when Rudy's hometown paper went around the city to collect words of encouragement for him, New York's inhabitants lived up to their nurturing, supportive reputation when asked what they thought of their ex-mayor's valiant run at the presidency:

* "He didn't have a snowball's chance in hell."

* "He was too New York, too Italian, and he had too many wives ... This is a man who wants to represent America and his kids won't talk to him."

* "I have been asking myself, how could Giuliani ever have the audacity to run for president. His governing style would be considered mean, indifferent and, I would have to say, racist or prejudiced."

* "I was waiting for this moment -- he stinks."

* "He's a hypocrite."

* "He was draconian as a prosecutor and as a mayor. It's a good thing Floridians did what they did."

* "Nationally, people just didn't like him."

Fortunately, the Times provided names to go with all of these quotes, so Rudy can use his now copious free time to track each and every one of them down and snarl at them personally.

They Kind of Knew It Wouldn't Work [NYT]


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