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Breaking! Obama Evolves Back To Gay Marriage Stance He Held In 1996

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Congratulations, Gays! President Barack Obama has finally come out of the closet, REPORTEDLY, about his belief that gay people should have the same marriage rights as Kim Kardashian and that goofball, whatshisfuck. Of course, liberals have always believed that he always believed this, mostly because he said so, back in 1996, when he was not yet running for president. But then he did run for president, so he evolved. And now he evolved again, it looks like. (He has not been a Profile in Courage on this, we are saying.) But you know, it's cool, bygones!

And now Martin Bashir is all over Your Wonkette's teevee making blah-de-blah, so we have switched to our lover, Shep Smith, who is very happy that BO has joined him in the 21st Century, and WHY has Fox not fired him yet? It is all probably Joe Biden's fault for letting the gaffe out of the bag, which led to Worst Press Secretary Ever, Jay Carney, getting reamed in the bottom for 45 minutes by liberal media who were all "So why's the Preezy of the United Steezy LYING, CONSTANTLY, about this" (because everybody could tell he was sort of lying), and Carney was basically like, "That statement is no longer operative." Sometimes you just gotta go with a classic.

Meanwhile, Mitt Romney has been evolving in the other direction, and has gone from being Governor Gay Marriage to now opposing even civil unions. Swell guy. [Mediaite]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Today we are having a Very Serious Conversation about how liberals are very uncivil and mean and terrible and vulgar, because a restaurant in Virginia very nicely asked Sarah Huckabee Sanders to GTFO, due to how she is an atrocious liar who works for a fascist. (The restaurant comped the cheese plates that had already been served.) Meanwhile the president is threatening 79-year-old black congresswomen on Twitter and ripping babies away from their parents and just generally being a fascist. BOTH SIDES DO IT, ISN'T THAT RIGHT, VERY SERIOUS PUNDITS?

Point is, Sarah Huckabee Sanders is doing her first White House press briefing in a week, assuming she doesn't wuss out like she always does. Will she lie? Will she cry? Will she be a sack of shit like she always is? Most importantly, has she managed to find a meal since she was kicked out of the Red Hen? We certainly hope she's managed to find a Chick-fil-A or something, as we wouldn't want Our Sarah to be forced to give a press briefing while hangry.

Let's liveblog and see what a foul asshole SHS feels like being today:

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Last week, Nicole Arteaga of Peoria, Arizona received the devastating news from her doctor that her baby's development had stopped and that pregnancy would end in a miscarriage. Given the option of either a D&C or prescription medication, she chose to go with the prescription. Then, like all normal people do when they get a prescription, she went to a pharmacy to have it filled.

Unfortunately for her, Brian Hrenuic -- the pharmacist at the Walgreens she went to -- refused to give her that prescription, because he opposed it on "moral grounds."

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