BREAKING: Rich, Shallow Morons Say Hilariously Awful Things

A reporter for the New York Observer wandered into "Bungalow 8," an exclusive New York nightclub, and started asking the flighty assholes inside about Iraq. We have digested the worst of their pronouncements for your amusement.

* "Interior designer Brinton Brewster, 38, was also very upset. 'We were brought into the war under false pretenses ... Unfortunately, the fabulous people get a bad rap,' he continued. 'Just because we live life in a certain way, they think we don't have compassion for other people. It's just not the truth. But you know, what really upsets me, honestly, is the propensity of the media to focus on Lindsay Lohan going in and out of rehab. I don't care about celebrities and what they're doing. I've met them all.'"

* "Next up was a blond woman in her late 30's. She was wearing a black fedora from the men's department at Bergdorf Goodman, a black Moschino dress and shoes by Christian Loubouton. I asked her about Iraq. 'A rack? You mean titties? Like a really big rack?' Iraq. 'Don't ever waste a moment in life. Fly to the moon and play amongst the stars, be happy, understand how lucky we are -- and don't fight,' she said. 'I feel personally connected in one way -- I'm a mother, and every day in Iraq somebody is losing their child. My little girl will never go to Iraq. I'm sorry, she'll go to Prada.'"

* "Jacqie Venable, a 40-year-old music producer, was wearing a beret and jeans. She said she wasn't wearing underwear. 'In my spiritual picture, it has to do with karma,' she said. 'Everything that happens in life, to each of us, is what we call into our space. Everything comes full circle. So right now, it's going to work out to whatever it works out to be. It might be happy for me and not happy for you. The people who are there fighting -- it's their journey. This is our journey.'

* "Paul Johnson-Calderon, a 23-year-old fashionista wearing a Balenciaga tunic, was also upset. How does he feel to be an American these days? 'I'm a little bit ashamed, because you go abroad now and everyone hates Americans,' he said. 'I was in Florence, Italy -- it was my birthday; I'd just turned 21 -- and everyone was like, "Oh, America -- fuck America!" And I was like, "No, not fuck America. There are a lot of great people who don't back Bush, so don't judge me."'"

We beseech Late Night Shots denizens to explain to us if any of these people are "turbos."

Bungalowing Iraq [NYO]


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