BREAKING: TIME PUBLISHES PICTURE OF THE BACK OF BUSH'S HEAD AND A GUY KIND OF STANDING IN THE BACK LOOKING AWKWARD
The Bush-Abramoff Picture has finally dropped, and it's terribly exciting for all you fans of slow-breaking hard-to-understand political firestorms of controversy!
Abramoff can be recognized by his trademark striped red and white sweater and ski cap
Once again, we find ourselves sympathizing with the disgraced lobbyist. Look at him here -- it's a party at the White House, everyone's having a good time, they've all had a few drinks, Karl just put on that Bloc Party remix album to get people dancing, you know, typical Saturday night. And Jack, he's just sort of planted himself in the corner, you know, doesn't want to intrude, doesn't really know that many people there... the friend he came with is socializing, meeting people, getting some numbers, and he just kinda abandoned Jack in the back there. And Jack's just sort of nodding his head a bit to the music, nursing his High Life, trying not to look too pathetic. "Good music," he says to Karl. "What do you think of that Arctic Monkeys album?"
"Oh, it was ok, I guess," says Karl. "Excuse me for a second, I gotta go say 'hi' to my buddy Grover."