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BREAKING: Wall Street Journal Hates Obama's Thug 'Rap' Music

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It may come as a shock to you, but the people at the Wall Street Journal are not fans of the hip-hop, and are particularly not fans of America's #1 hip-hop fan, Barack Obama! The nation's very important business newspaper has dedicated a number of column inches to outraged recapitulation of terrible rap lyrics, all of which is hilarious, but we feel the following set-up is the best of the bunch:


More from Lil Wayne, a native of New Orleans, the nation's perennial murder capital, who devotes his ingenuity to making black-on-black homicide sound fly:

And then there's some rap words, about murder. Kudos to the nameless copy editor who removed the scare quotes around "fly" at the last minute, and kudos to Barack Obama, for making murder rap the official national anthem, replacing the old national anthem, which was about white people killing each other for no good reason. [WSJ]

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Since he's such a public-spirited guy, Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke generously offered to develop some land owned by his foundation in his home town of Whitefish, Montana, as a "Veterans Peace Park" where kids could go sledding in the winter and the goodly Volk could go to appreciate both veterans and, naturally enough, the BNSF railroad, which used to use the land as a gravel pit and which donated it to Zinke's "charitable" "foundation." (Zinke's foundation, it turns out, is like Trump's, if Donald Trump were just a bit more shameless.) So naturally, here comes Halliburton!

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Is there really a Blue Wave coming? Dunno! But hey, check out these polls!

(Yes, we know we got burned in 2016. And yes, we know polls this far out are no guarantee. What, you want another depressing story about baby jails? DIDN'T THINK SO. So come read these nice polls right now!)

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