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BREAKINGEST FRIDAY AFTERNOON EVER: WE DROVE PATRICK KENNEDY INTO REHAB

kennedycnn.jpgSo, uh, now we feel a little bit bad. 'Cause, we were just having a bit of fun, you know, and considering that the two options available for Patrick Kennedy's weird behavior were either a) plain ol' Kennedy-approved alcohol and b) hilarious drug mix-up, we thought, well, no harm.


But now he's headed out to Detox Mansion for addiction to prescription medication. Which sort of explains everything -- except why the Capitol Police just let him go home the other night, the question that will allow us to keep writing about this without feeling guilty.

We're kind of wondering just what Kennedy is addicted to -- his middle-of-the-night sleep-driving could be caused by a lot of things, but we've never actually heard of anyone being addicted to Ambien and Phenergan, the experimenter we quoted earlier today notwithstanding.

We wish Kennedy a speedy recovery and hope this will encourage other lawmakers in similar situations to seek help.

Seriously, 109th Congress: What is up with you guys?

Patrick Kennedy Says He'll Seek Help for Addiction [NYT]

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It's the night before the two-night Democratic primary debate extravaganza, and we're already tired. Turns out having 20 candidates spread across two nights when only six or eight of them matter is not the must-see TV we all thought it was going to be! But that's not to dissuade you from getting excited! We're excited! We're so excited! We're so ...

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SCARED!

In case you need a reminder, here is how it's going to go down:

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Lately he's been blowing smoke from another orifice.

After a cursory examination of the TWELVE filings in the case against California Congressman Duncan Hunter just in the past 24 hours, we can confidently declare that that guy is a fucking idiot. The prosecutors have him by every last one of his short and curlies -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to pay for hundreds of thousands of dollars of ski trips, video games, tuition, and plane tickets for the family rabbit.

A rational human being would have pleaded down a year ago and given up his congressional seat, since he could cash out and make a lot more money as a lobbyist anyway. But not Duncan Hunter! He made the federal government chase him down and document every last carton of cigarettes, round of tequila, and Uber ride of shame home from his many girlfriends' houses in a 60-count indictment filed last August. And still this dumb sumbitch refused to admit he was caught, even after his lovely wife (and co-conspirator) Margaret Hunter flipped on him this month -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to carry on multiple affairs and you piss off the US Attorneys enough that they put every 7 a.m. Uber ride in your indictment.

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