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Breathe a Sigh of Relief for Not-Gay Superman

I know a lot of you have been totally worried about this, but the good news is here from Christian movie reviewer Ted Baehr of MovieGuide.org: the new Superman is truly, madly, deeply not gay, and, no sir, he doesn't like the allegations one bit:


Rather, Baehr says all the evidence in Superman Returns points to the main character's love for Lois Lane. "So he doesn't give any evidence of being gay in the movie, except for the fact that he's a good looking guy with a strong physique," says Baehr. "If that makes you gay, then we've got to remove all the people in the Marines ... and all the people in football and everything else. That's absurd. Just because a person is good looking and has a good physique doesn't make them gay."
Is it just me or does Baehr, whose name reminds us a little bit of larger, hairier hairdressers, have a touch of longing in his voice for those damned rugged, chiseled, pretty, wholesome types who pass so easily?

For exhaustive coverage of gay or not-gay superman, visit our star-addled cousin in LA.

News Briefs (7th item) [Agape Press]

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We have been hearing ever since late last week that Michael Cohen is probably about to be arrested and probably going to be indicted on one million charges and probably maybe might be about to try to flip and make a deal so that he doesn't end up in prison for the rest of his natural life. In fact, we have been hanging our hopes on it, because everything else sucks. Sure, we are still filled with joy over how Paul Manafort is on day four of JAIL, MOTHERFUCKER, JAIL, but then we remembered what is happening on the border and what we are saying right now is we need something happy.

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It was a big weekend for the New Cruelty, with the first tent city for kids opening in Texas and immediately becoming the focus of protests, the head of Homeland Security lying about the Trump administration's family separation policy, and one of the architects of that policy, Stephen Miller, telling the New York Times about what a brilliant policy it is. And more and more kids continue to be taken from their families. Let's round up the latest in the ongoing nightmare our crapsack nation has become.

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