best pal of Jews

Why's everybody gotta pick on poor, sweet Steve Bannon? That is what Breitbart and some of its Jewish pals would like to know. It's important to note from the outset that Breitbart's Jewish pals are in no way anything like the super-majority of American Jews, who are open-minded, loving, liberal-as-fuck people who don't really like palling around with white supremacists like the Breitbart goons do.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]Ever since President-elect Donald Trump (vomit) announced that Bannon, the Breitbart head who swooped in this summer to run the Trump campaign, would be his chief strategist in the White House, rational people around the universe have been saying WHAT THE FUCK IS GODDAMN WRONG WITH YOU? They are saying this because Bannon is the man who proudly turned Breitbart into a haven for the absolute dregs of American society, the white supremacists and neo-Nazis (also known as just "Nazis") who wish to rend the very fabric of America and reduce it to a pile of rubble. Bannon's already reaching out to racist white nationalists like France's Marine Le Pen, probably for completely innocent purposes, of course.

Oh, and one time, Bannon's ex-wife accused him in divorce papers of not wanting his daughters going to school with a bunch of Jewish people, because he really doesn't fucking like Jews.

And that seems to be the sticking point for the Breitbart boys! They're not that wee-weed up about people calling Bannon a white supremacist, because pfffffft, obviously. They're just mad people are seizing on Bannon's alleged anti-Semitic record, because it's a well known fact that ALL DUMB LADIES lie in divorce papers about how their husbands hate Jewish people.

Let's eavesdrop on some Jewish guys yammering over at Breitbart about how it's simply unkind of everybody to accuse Joseph Goebbels Steve Bannon of anti-Semitism:

Nationally syndicated radio talk show host Dennis Prager called accusations of antisemitism against Stephen K. Bannon “libel” on Wednesday.

Dennis Prager is a fucking terrible person who likes it when kids go hungry and thinks sexual assault is hilarious. Just FYI.

“It’s the worst witch-hunt in American history, what’s going on now, and it’s going to continue,” [Breitbart writer David] Horowitz said.

“To take a pro-Jewish defender of Israel like Steve Bannon, and — with no evidence — call him an antisemite is hard even to comprehend.”

Horowitz said there were only two pieces of evidence used against Bannon — one a court filing by a “disgruntled ex-wife,” and the other “a headline that I wrote — I sent an article to Breitbart unsolicited … and they just printed what I sent … and the headline was, ‘Bill Kristol, Republican Spoiler, Renegade Jew’.”

DAVID HOROWITZ WROTE THAT ANTI-SEMITIC BULLSHIT, NOT STEVE BANNON. Noted! In fact, we noted it right here! Horowitz's argument was that Jewish Bill Kristol was in bed with "Jew-hating Hitlerites" who supported Hillary Clinton and that Iran nuclear deal to keep Iran from getting nukes, which, in braindead wingnut land, was actually a deal to send Iran brand new nuclear weapons in the mail once a month, like Dollar Shave Club.

David Horowitz has more thoughts:

In contrast, he said: “What did Steve Bannon, who is Trump’s chief strategist, do? They reached out Trump to call [Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin] Netanyahu and call Israel a ‘beacon of hope.’”

“This is the best president the Jews could wish for!” Horowitz concluded.

Bannon called Bibi Netanyahu on the Obamaphone! Surely that means he loves all Jews, even the millions of American Jews who think Netanyahu is KINDA scary. One thing we will grant here is that we are more than willing to believe Steve Bannon hates Muslims far more than he hates Jews, even if he hates Jews too, which he probably does, because he headed up what's basically an Aryan Nation website, not that we should jump to conclusions, except for how fuck it, we're gonna keep jumping to conclusions. If the Anti-Defamation League is like "Anti-Semitic dick turd say what?" we're gonna assume they know what they're talking about.

The Breitbart Jewish guys' final point is I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I, because Democratic Rep. Keith Ellison is a Muslim who used to defend Louis Farrakhan when he was a student, but who later said he was a dumb kid back then and is very sorry he used to defend an anti-Semitic guy like that. Therefore, Q.E.D. Bitchez! and stop being mean to Donald Trump's white supremacist Breitbart daddy Stephen Bannon, who loves The Good Kind Of Jews (the ones who read Breitbart) whole lots of bunches, END OF STORY.


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Nancy Pelosi is making news again today after her weekly press conference, mostly because she said this about yesterday's nutbag performance from President Stable Genius:

[T]his time, another temper tantrum — again — I pray for the President Of The United States. I wish him and his family, his administration and staff would have an intervention for the good of the country.

She prays for him. And she's just kind of suggesting that maybe the president is unwell, in his brain. She's being very subtle!

When Glenn Thrush asked afterward what kind of "intervention" she might be talking about, she suggested that Article 25 would be just fine.

But many folks out there right now are saying "BUT WHAT ABOUT INPEACH! They are not going to do an intervention, because the intervention is called INPEACH!" (They are taking her words very literally, it would seem.) Every other damn day lately, there is news about how "NANCY SAID INPEACH IS BAD" or "NANCY SAID TRUMP'S ACTIONS IS SELF-INPEACH-ATORY, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, NANCY!" and whatever else, we don't know, because we have muted all of Twitter until further notice. (Here is some news about the House Democrats' weekly meeting yesterday, most of which was about Democrats yelling INPEACH! while Nancy Pelosi gave them cold showers.)

Here's the thing:

In today's presser, Pelosi was clearer than ever about her feelings on impeachment -- she doesn't like it, and she'd really hate for the nation to get to a place where that's inevitable, she is just saying it would be truly terrible for them to have to do that -- but they might just be FORCED to go there. And wouldn't that be just terrible? Nancy Pelosi is praying about that just like she is praying for Trump, under a big oak tree that casts all the shade she threw at Donald Trump for her entire fucking presser.

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Happy Throwback Thursday! Remember Paul Manafort? He's still in jail, don't worry. But it looks like he might be getting some company soon from his old pal Stephen Calk, who just got indicted today by the Southern District of New York.

Calk was a simple CEO and COB at the Federal Savings Bank of Chicago, but he had big dreams. He'd been an army pilot and a money guy, so he figured he was competent to be either Secretary of Treasury or Secretary of Army. He'd take Commerce or HUD, or even a cool ambassadorship to France, or the UK, or the UN -- he wasn't picky. Just any old position befitting a guy who is 100 percent going to be played by Michael McKean in the movie version of this nightmare.

Luckily Calk knew a guy on the inside. Sure that guy had recently been You're Fired from the Trump campaign for ratfucking the Ukrainian election, but Paul Manafort was still waving his bits all over Trumpland in the summer and fall of 2016, so Paul Manafort had the hookup that Calk needed. Luckily, Calk had what Manafort needed, which was MONEY. Manafort's fountain of untaxed cash had dried up since the Ukrainians gave his guy Viktor Yanukovych the boot, and he was in danger of losing multiple investment properties to foreclosure. So naturally Calk stepped up to the plate with $15 million in loans to keep the wolves at bay, because what are friends with more political ambition than scruple for, right?

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