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Bristol Palin Gets Into Bar Fight With Angry Homosexual (VIDEO)

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Bristol Palin was in LA filming her new reality teevee show (seventy-two hours of Bristol flopping around on a mechanical bull like a wasted badger) when some off-camera dude started screaming epithets about Sarah Palin. Are the cameras still rolling? Yes, GO: Bristol marches right over to the screamer and demands to know if he is "a homosexual," since that is how you insult someone Alaska-style. This guy, he is a homosexual as it turns out, and, we are going to randomly guess, a convenient plant from a wicked teevee producer. Or he's drunk, it doesn't matter. Angry homos, they make good teevee! We are getting a headache trying to make out the ensuing stream of profanity and hand-waving, but, uh, it is not polite. Screamy details after the jump!

From some intern at CBS LA who was forced to try to transcribe this nonsense:

“Did you ride Levi like that? Your mother is a whore! Your mother is a f***ing devil!” he shouts.

Palin approaches the man and asks, “Is it because you’re a homosexual and that’s why you hate her?”

“Pretty much … and why’d you say I’m a homosexual?” he responds.

“Because I can tell you are,” Bristol says.

“You’re f***ing white trash from Wasila!” he screams as she leaves with her production crew. “F*** you, you f***ing b***h!”

At one point, the man also tells Palin that he doesn’t believe in hell, but that if it exists, he believes her mother will go there.

And that is all the "political news" we can handle for the next Mayan calendar year, wake us up after the apocalypse. [YouTube/CBS LA]

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BREAKING ACHTUNG EVERYBODY CRY AND PANIC AND HAVE ROLLICKING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE, BECAUSE ROBERT MUELLER DID THE THING.

We don't know what the thing means yet, but we know that he gave the thing to Attorney General Bill Barr, who is presumably looking at the thing right now. Donald Trump is at Mar-a-Lago, so he does not have the thing, because NO THING FOR ILLEGITIMATE PRESIDENTS. Studies show that according to sources close to the investigation who may or may not be close to the investigation, we might have some real information on what is inside the thing sometime this weekend.

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Whatcha doin' down there at Mar-a-Lago, Mister Normal President Of America?

OK ... huh?

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