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A fantastic thing about any kind of gay-related legislation is it gives Republicans a chance to talk about the many homos they've known and loved throughout their lives. For example, a near-tearful Congressman Louie Gohmert (R-Texas, obviously) just gave a very moving speech on the House floor about his carefree days as a soldier in the Army barracks. Seems there was an "overt homosexual" or two in the barracks, and then came the very sad moment when the most overtly gay soldier of all missed a signal, apparently, in the dark, and went to the wrong "straight" soldier's bunk, for anal sex. Louie Gohmert still hasn't forgotten the way it felt when that beautiful hunk of young man just strutted right past Louie Gohmert's bunk, as he explains in this heartfelt "It Gets Better" video.


Let's hear Holy Louie blow his mad riffs, his cum-stained cold war memories, blew and blown by those human seraphim, the soldiers, caresses of Lone Star love in the rotten mosquito night! Moloch the incomprehensible prison barracks! Moloch the crossbone soulless jailhouse and Congress of sorrows! Moloch whose buildings are judgment! Moloch the vast stone of war! Moloch the stunned governments!

Thanks to overt Wonkette operative Chascates.

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Yeah, that's my daughter and I made this

Guys!

Last

month

was

crazy!

First, NASA sent its last message to the Mars Opportunity rover! THEN scientists said that all the insects are dying but not the human-looking ones in the GOP. As if THAT wasn't enough, some brave pendejos with grandes cojones are going to try and get seafloor creatures from under a giant ice shelf in the ANTARCTIC!

So, yeah, all three of those stories happened last month. Let's cover each in a science lightning round.

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Education Secretary Betsy DeVos is terrible at her job. Her objectives and overall mission are evil, but if it's any consolation she can't effectively implement them. After buying her Cabinet position at Sotheby's, DeVos has spent the past two years trying to roll back Obama-era policies designed to protect and actually educate students. Unfortunately for her evil schemes, federal courts keep smacking down her slimy efforts. It's getting embarrassing.

DeVos recently had to cancel $150 million in student loan debt after courts said her attempts to stop the "borrow defense" regulations from taking effect were in fact illegal. Last week, she was forced to instruct colleges to follow the Obama rule barring mandatory arbitration agreements. She got kicked in the teeth earlier this month when a federal judge ruled she'd acted illegally ... again. This time, DeVos tried to delay an Obama-era guideline that required states to address racial disparities in their special education programs. Judge Tanya S. Chutkan called the delay "arbitrary" and "capricious."

The rule, drafted under the Individuals With Disabilities Education Act, would require states to identify districts with "significant disproportionality" in the number of minority students channeled into special education services, segregated in restrictive classroom settings or disciplined.

OK, so what was the "education" secretary's issue with this rule? We want to imagine there's some rationale we're not seeing and DeVos is more than just some yacht-collecting monster.

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