Bush 41's Babes, Sarah's Squeeze and a Scary Day At the Museum
YOURS TRULY was enjoying a noontime visit to DC's famous HOLOCAUST MUSEUM with a friend today, only to leave at 12:40 to quench the thirst with a smoothie from TANGYSWEET -- just moments before a WHITE SUPREMACIST ANTI-SEMITE started a gun battle with museum security guards! And now a hero security guard has died, protecting museum-goers from a MARYLAND MONSTER. Why didn't the NAZI die? Where's the justice?
We shan't easily forget THIS day at the museum.
Lustful congresslady CATHY RODGERS (R-Wash.) gave Alaska's most accomplished helicopter sniper SARAH PALIN some sort of hug/back massage/butt squeeze and then Palin blushed with approval and asked about Ms. Rodgers' son, who is only two so he can't get pregnant for at least another 15 years and what a pity ....
At a casual summer mixer hosted by Washington Post editorial cartoonist TOM TOLES, preposterous Looney Toon DANA MILBANK, also of the Post, apprehended a pair of his host's whitey tighties, which he then used as a crown to distinguish his noble birth from all the commoners in the room. Apparently this sort of elitist nonchalance is anticipated whenever Lord Milbank is united with his favorite elixir of grain alcohol and rain water ....
Rumor has it that GEORGE H. W. BUSH, a close relative of our cherished former president, wants to experience all the hedonistic pleasures of life. That is why Mr. Bush invited strange hairy men with wigs and bikinis to sit on his lap in Maine, and that is also why he is going to jump out of a plane with a news anchor strapped to his back this Friday afternoon. Keep flying high, 41! You'll always be our favorite President Bush.
Riley Waggaman's WAGG THE BOG appears constantly here at Wonkette. Send your hot gossip to the usual firstname.lastname@example.org