Bush Administration in Desperate Need of Magic Wand

magicwand.jpgPresident Bush (April 2005): "I wish I could simply wave a magic wand and lower gas prices tomorrow; I'd do that."


Dick Cheney (July 2002): "Ultimately, of course, the peak power period this summer will exceed any capacity the state has and you'll end up in those rolling brownouts. There's no magic wand that Washington can wave."

Ari Fleischer (May 2001): "If any politician has a magic wand that they can wave over gas prices to lower them, the president...would like to listen to them."

Presidential candidate George W. Bush, on healthcare reform (February 2000): "I'm sorry. I wish I could wave a wand."

The problem, of course, is that people keep asking the President to solve the wrong problems. But as soon as someone says, "Hey, George, can you make my wife cum like Catherine the Great on Derby Day?", we think he will totally have an answer. (As long as he doesn't just wave it, that is.)

Hitachi Magic Wand Vibrator [Drugstore.com]

President Speaks to U.S. Hispanic Chamber of Commerce Conference [White House]

Smoking Gun Shoots Down Bush View of Power Crisis [Common Dreams]

White House Says It Can't Offer Relief on Gas Prices [AP]

Bush Left in Want of a Wand [NY Times]

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