And you other two guys, too! Including the Canadian!! - WonketteThe leaders of Canada, Mexico and the United States are having secret meetings in a sinister Canadian castle today that will mean the End of the United States, finally, sources said.

Bush Junior is meeting today and tomorrow with Mexican prez Filipe Calderon (who also wasn't exactly elected to office) and Canadian prime minister Stephen Harper (who also wasn't elected because Canada worships the Queen, we think?) so they can combine the three countries into one slave-labor economic ruin known as Canarexico or something.

The new North American Union will feature the worst parts of all three countries: Low wages and crushing poverty like in Mexico, 11-month-long winters and weird round bacon like in Canada, and widespread obesity and retardation like in the USA.

PM Stephen Harper describes the new citizen as "a loathsome no-skills service-sector laborer too addicted to television and nachos to ever rebel against their corporate overlords who will actually all move to Dubai, where it's safe."

For his part, Calderon promised to reverse small gains in the Mexican middle class and vowed to replace the nation's rich culture with "whatever stupid bullshit keeps the norte americanos so docile, maybe poison Chinese toys or rap-metal?"

Bush Jr. had no official statement, but presented a note from Cheney authorizing the president to sign whatever binding documents which will formally transfer U.S. sovereignty to an off-shore entity.

A bunch of meek losers held a weak protest where they were told to go, about 30 miles from the castle where the leaders are having their not-so-secret meeting.

Riot police, protesters clash as Bush arrives at summit [Standard News Services]

Tensions Rise In Montebello []


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