This is kind of like excitedly reporting stock picks made by a homeless lunatic, but George Bush Junior has apparently ended his long tragic silence about the 2008 candidates because, like all average dumb Americans, he just learned there's a presidential election coming up next year. And what is Darth Chimpy McHitler's conclusion? The most conventional wisdom of all, that's what.

Hillary will win the nomination, says Bush Junior, because she has the "great national presence and this is becoming a national primary," whatever that means.

Meanwhile, "Bush has expressed surprise that former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani remains the front-runner." Us too, George, us too. True, all the GOP candidates are really loathsome human beings (with the exception of fifth-tier longshots "Nice Mike" Huckabee and Ron "People Who Don't Know Anything About Politics Like Me" Paul), but Rudy is also a rat-faced liberal cross-dressing opera-loving Manhattan dandy and gun-taking-away abortionist.

Even Bush Junior understands why Republican voters (at this early stage) still like Rudy: Because he shares their seething hatred of Muslims and deep longing for more terrorist attacks. Sure, he only needs terror so he can keep polling okay and trampling the crushed remains of 9/11 victims so he can keep earning million of dollars talking about how he stood around on 9/11 because he put the city's emergency center inside the city's biggest terror target, but GOP primary voters who need terror so that Jesus will come back and nuke the Middle East don't really worry about Rudy's motives. As long as he pretends to love terror, they tolerate him.

Bush Junior also says the GOP will keep the White House next year. If that's anywhere near as accurate as his 2006 predictions, Hillary might as well deliver her acceptance speech and we can all be done with this stupid charade.

Bush Says Clinton Will Be Dem Nominee [AP/FoxNews]


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