Business Booming For Hero Baker Who Tells Gross Food Stamp Families To Beat It

Business Booming For Hero Baker Who Tells Gross Food Stamp Families To Beat It

Welfare. Isn't it gross? Especially food stamps -- pardon us, "EBT benefits" -- where gadabouts just gad about all day, and then expect "society" to make sure their children don't starve in the gutter. We are sorry, but we don't think ur-American prophetess Ayn Rand would have had much good to say on the topic! At any rate, news comes from Boston that an American hero has put her foot down regarding accepting EBT benefits for her "sticky treats" at a farmers market where she has a stall! And when thenews of this principled stand to not let jerk welfare people have pastries sped around the internets, the same large flock of right-thinking fascists -- who mobbed first Chick-fil-A and then the idiot who wouldn't let Joe Biden buy a cupcake -- have been keeping this lady's bakery full to bursting ever since. If you discriminate against queers, Poors, and Bidens, they will come!

The same people who think New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is Stalin on a stick for outlawing zeppelin-sized co-colas are thrilled to pieces with this lady for telling people on food stamps no they may not have a cookie. But it's not hypocrisy because people on food stamps are leeches on the face of the taxpayer, and therefore it is up to the taxpayer to shame them from purchasing food.

Your Editrix remembers reading a Dear Abby column in a "news-paper" when she was young, where some crotchety bitch wrote in to moan that she had witnessed a food-stamp mom buying fresh strawberries. A ridiculous luxury, and how dare she, and WINGNUT FURIOUS and etc. Dear Abby pointed out that perhaps it was a special occasion -- a child's birthday, perhaps, let her HAVE SOME FUCKING STRAWBERRIES -- and that even if it wasn't, having a small luxury LIKE A BOX OF FUCKING STRAWBERRIES was perhaps necessary in the face of overwhelming privation.

Dear Abby also told that lady to stop being such a fucking cunt, and to mind her business. We would say the same thing to "Andrea Taber," but she's already minding her business, because mean-spirited spite-monsters have overrun it, throwing all the money in their wallets at her, to thank her for kicking a Poor.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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