But Will They Ever Love? Liveblog Part II
Hey look, Hillary and Barry are minding their manners. Probably at 9, right when Lost starts, they'll fight like The Others, against The Other Others (blacks)! Eh? Eh?
8:52 -- Hillary, you can't keep a damn position about ____! Explain yourself, why do you act conservative about ____ and then act liberal about ____! (SECRET HINT: FILL THEM ALL WITH 'HOPE,' AND IT'S ABOUT BILL CLINTON ).
8:58 -- Betty WHITE's commercial of course interrupts what looked to be a good Barack answer. Vince Foster?
8:59 -- When Barack was senator in the state senate in Illinois, he did a great job, passing ethics reform -- he told that Al Capone good by damning him in a resolution 70 years later. Other shit he just voted "present" though. But now he's the president.
9:00 -- Like I've said Wolf, I graduated 35 years ago and have had a job ever since.
9:01 -- Hillary's negotiating with "Macedonia." Indeed, she voted to authorize Alexander the Great's War on Iraq, too.
9:02 -- Lady, the dumb one, the dumb lady asks how these two can possibly run the government when they haven't been Mitt Romney before, who ran a sports competition once and then governed the healthiest state in the world.
9:03 -- Aww, these Politico newbies are amateurs after all. Gene Simmons got a chance to ask a question, but was speechless. It happens, when you see the Hillary in person.
9:04 -- How To Spot A Bad Question: Hillary can answer by saying she'll be a woman president, and it works.
9:06 -- Ouch, Hillary. She says "neither of us would have predicted, not long ago, we'd both be sitting here." In other words: "This is your last warning, black friend. That shit Kathleen Willey says about me? Yeah, she's 'making it up' entirely..."
9:07 -- I've got endorsers, like Senator Kennedy, and everyone has always wanted Ted Kennedy in the White House.
9:09 -- Barack is so naive: He asks "who can work the levers of power most effectively?" Doesn't he realize that if he's winning everywhere on Super Tuesday, the Diebold "levers of power" won't work at all?
9:11 -- 9:11! And ooh, that's James "Pierce Bond" Brosnan in the crowd! James Bond should run for president, since it's 9:11.
9:12 -- I hate it when a question's so bad that Hillary can use that fucking canned answer: "It took a Clinton to clean up after the first Bush White House, it'll take a Clinton to clean up the second" (almost verbatim). At least if John McCain's president, he'll pass some pinko liberal campaign reform bill to ban that phrase.
9:13 -- [LOUDEST APPLAUSE IN AMERICAN HISTORY AT HILLARY'S DUMB SHITTY RESPONSE THAT 2 CLINTONS AND 2 BUSHES CANCEL EACH OTHER OUT SO IT'S LIKE GEORGE W. BUSH NEVER HAPPENED].
9:16 -- Hillary: I hate Iraq! We'll be out of there in five seconds, one sweep o' the ol' Clinton Oval Office pen.
9:17 -- It's just the contingencies with Irq, the contingencies. Contingencies tend to turn out "Republican-favoring."
9:18 -- Also, I stole that Oval Office pen from the White House in 2001, like with the couches. It all needs to go back home, right? Vote Hillary!
9:21 -- Barack: I didn't have a say in the vote to go to Iraq, but I'll make a decision about the future, after I smoke this bitch.
9:22 -- WOLF! Ha ha, he just told Hillary "THAT IS A CLEAR SWIPE AT YOU." That's not an exaggeration, one loose preposition at most.
9:23 -- Hillary cries inside, but it's probably fake.
9:24 -- Hillary: Barack may have voted for some arbitrary spending boost to prevent the troops in Anbar province from starving, forever. Now how can he say he opposed the decision to declare war?
9:27 -- Disclosure: I don't watch much of the debate, I'm too busy typing. The two times I've looked up, I've seen Pierce Brosnan and Jason Alexander. Point is: I keep hearing this old cranky First Lady sounding voice, 15 minutes non-stop. Did she win the election?
9:29 -- Did anyone notice that Barack "The Most Liberal Senator In Luo Tribe Land" Obama is wearing a purple tie, like the gays? John McCain is furiously scribbling "FAG" in his diary, for talking points he'll need later.
9:31 -- Barack is really hammering this point that he wasn't against the war from the beginning.
9:32 -- BUT HILLARY SHOULD SAY THIS: Hey Barry, you know what I did after that vote? I CHANGED my mind.
9:34 -- Hillary, instead, is admitting that she's hawkish only so she can win the general election. Am I mishearing something?
9:35 -- Wolf misquotes Hillary, and the crowd BOOS THE SHIT OUT OF HIM, THE BEARD; BARRY'S LAUGHING BECAUSE WHAT ELSE WILL HE DO.
9:36 -- Serious Point To Make: Does CNN actually expect to get away with this -- creating the most pro-Hillary crowd imaginable? The blogs... the blogs won't be able to handle this.
9:40 -- Retarded, Tasteless Joke To Make Up For Serious Point Above: It makes sense, CNN's choice: since when do we let black people on teevee anyway? How can he run for president when he can't vote?
9:43 -- Barack says he doesn't want to "be offensive, but...." Hillary's head shoots up, bloody eyes of Clinton death awaiting vulnerability, pouncing, preying.
9:44 -- Indeed, Barack has actually offended all of Hollywood. It's so cute, watching him try and say that Hollywood should stop doing the shit that makes it money. This guy.
9:45 -- OH HEY LOOK, THE RETARDED PERSON HAS A RETARD QUESTION: "Hillary, if you can't control Bill now, how will you control him when
he's president again you, the wife, is president?"
9:46 -- [CACKLE]
9:46 -- [HILLARY SENDS BRAIN TRANSMISSION TO HIT MEN, SAYING, 'KILL RETARDED QUESTIONER'S CAT']
9:47 -- Hillary responds: "I have a feeling you won't be worried about that much longer, dear. Go home to your cat."
9:50 -- Last Question: Will you guys make the other one vice president, even though there's no chance you'll answer that, but it might make Hillary look like a huge bitch whatever she says?
9:51 -- [CACKLE]
9:51 -- [HILLARY CALLS KAZAKHSTANI URANIUM MINER HIT MEN FRIENDS, SAYING, 'GO TO WOLF'S HOUSE, KILL HIS CAT, MY OTHER TEAM'S KILLING A CAT ALREADY']
9:52 -- Hillary responds: "I have a feeling you won't be worried about vice presidents tonight, Wolf. Maybe you should go home and play with your cat."
9:53 -- Over.
9:54 -- Well, it looks like it was pretty even between our two big spenders here. It didn't flare up so much, except when the paid Clinton crowd yelled at Wolf Blitzer for breaking his CNN Clinton Bloodoath. Regardless, this has to be good for Hillary -- Obama's been closing in on her leads, and a draw could stop the bleeding. I hear Andrew Sullivan, of course, wrote, "Objectively, Obama wiped the floor with her." Maybe Andrew Sullivan should go home and check on his cats.