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Butt-Licking Contractors Fired, From Afghanistan

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It's more better news for the American national interest! You may remember the above devils fromearlier this year, from the ArmorGroup North America mercenary firm operating in Kabul, where they were protecting the United States embassy under a 5-year $189 million contract. These bros weren't doing so much "guarding" as they were drinking poop-tinted vodka from each other's butts using each other's poop as "salsa" for their potato chips, as well as wandering around Kabul naked with assault weapons. Now that contract has been canceled, and we're sure the folks from the replacement contracting firm will be real gentlemen. [Mother Jones]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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