Calling All Patriots! Help Save America By Buying Donald Trump A New Jet.

Calling All Patriots! Help Save America By Buying Donald Trump A New Jet.
Trump Doral photo by 'slgckgc,' Creative Commons license 2.0

There are so many worth causes in the world today. It can be hard to choose between feeding Ukrainian refugees, supporting abortion access, or trying to get unhoused folks shelter and medical care. Luckily, Donald Trump is here to tell you what to do with your money, and it is GIVE IT TO HIM so he can buy a new jet.

Last weekend a donor's plane ferrying Trump back from a fundraiser in New Orleans was forced to make an emergency landing due to engine failure. Don't worry, as the Post reports, another donor swooped in with his own jet to fly Trump back to Florida.

But why was Trump even on a donor plane, you are wondering. Doesn't he have that stupid jet with his name on the side? Turns out, he does not. Or, he does, but it's broke and maybe so is he, so he can't fix it and must rely on the kindness of strangers rolling around in vats of cash thanks to his stupid tax cuts.

Hey, remember that time when Trump whined that he needed to redesign Air Force One because it wasn't classy like his own private jet?

CNN give us some of that delicious schadenfreude we love so much:

Trump's personal Boeing 757 was always the crown jewel of his wealth — the ultimate sign that he had made it. He's used it as a backdrop for sleek photo shoots, campaign rallies, VIP tours, for shots of him eating his Big Macs and KFC, plated, with a knife and fork. Trump loved to show it off — the customized cream-colored leather seats, gilded bathrooms, the seat buckles layered in 24-karat gold.

But today it sits idle on an airport ramp in Orange County, New York, about 60 miles north of Manhattan.

One engine is missing parts. The other is shrink-wrapped in plastic. The cost to fix and get it flyable could reach well into the high six-figures, a price-tag Trump doesn't appear to be dealing with right now. Though the current state of his finances aren't public, the Covid-19 pandemic has taken a toll on the hospitality industry home to so many of his businesses.

That's the stuff!

Anyway, with his plane stuffed into a giant Ziploc baggie and his reliance on Uber Donors out in the open, Trump is taking advantage of the opportunity for grift. Insider flagged an email the former president's PAC sent to donors with the subject line "Update: Trump Force One." Because of course the loser bitch who routinely still uses the presidential seal is pretending that his non-existent plane is part of an official fleet. Like there's a Trump Force Two and a Trump Force Three, as opposed to some jerk just looking to bum a ride.

But you can change that if you will just send money right now!

"I need to trust that you won't share it with anyone: my team is building a BRAND NEW Trump Force One," the email gushed.

"The construction of this plane has been under wraps — not even the fake news media knows about it — and I can't wait to unveil it for everyone to see," it said, according to Insider.

"Do you want to see President Trump's new plane?" it asked, in hyperlinked text. Clicking took would-be marks to a page inviting them to make recurring monthly donations of up to $2,500 to restore the former president to the lifestyle to which he became accustomed when he could actually afford it.

Donations are not tax deductible, at least until Trump gets back in the White House and retroactively bones the IRS code. But sacrifices must be made ... by you. So hand over that credit card number now, operators are standing by!

[CNN / Insider]

Follow Liz Dye on Twitter!

You know what you ACTUALLY like giving money to? Ad-free, independent journalism and professional calling Trump names. Click below please, but only if you are able. We're stupid like that.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc