2016 Presidential Election

Yeah, Pennsylvania's Great. But Have You Tried ARIZONA?

Mark Kelly is a goddamn astronaut!

Go West, young man! Don't spend all your time and energy in the Rust Belt, because we have just as good a shot at taking Arizona's 11 electoral votes as we do Wisconsin's 10. And we have a better than even chance of picking up a Senate seat in the Grand Canyon state if we can somehow induce our voters to show up like they did in 2018, when they rejected Martha McSally the first time. Which is why the senator just hit the panic button and begged for a bailout from out-of-state donors.

This morning, Public Policy Polling (PPP), a Democratic pollster, published new numbers on Arizona and Iowa. Trump has never been popular in Arizona, and 52 percent of respondents to a phone/text poll conducted in the past two weeks disapprove of the president. Even against a historically unpopular candidate in 2016 (we're not going to fight about this now!), Trump was only able to win by 3.6 percent, as compared to Romney's 9 point margin in 2012. And while he polls basically even with Joe Biden, and only slightly ahead of Sanders, Warren, and Buttigieg, about 8 percent of respondents remain undecided.

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Rudy's Fixers Keep Breaking Sh*t


In the fall of 2018, Chucklefucker Lev Parnas was so broke that he had to borrow money to pay for the herring and schnapps at his son's bris. The following summer, he was swimming in cash, enjoying charter flights, luxury cars, and personal bodyguards. What changed? According to CNN, Ukrainian oligarch Dmitry Firtash waved the magic money wand and started raining cash down on his American fixer.

"I'm the best-paid interpreter in the world," Parnas joked, according to CNN's sources. Firtash's disheveled hairball lawyers Victoria Toensing and Joe diGenova back this up, minus the wink-wink, nudge-nudge, insisting that it was they who hired the jet-setting former stockbroker and aspiring natural gas magnate as a "translator" for their dealings with Firtash.

"That's a crock," Toensing snapped, when NBC suggested that Firtash was paying Parnas directly. Later her firm issued a more sober statement, saying "Mr. Firtash met Mr. Parnas for the first time in June 2019. Mr. Firtash had no business relationship with Mr. Parnas or Mr. Fruman. Mr. Parnas was retained as a translator by the law firm of diGenova & Toensing. No money has been paid to Mr. Parnas by Mr. Firtash beyond his work as a translator for the law firm."

We have questions!

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2020 democratic primary

Justice Kennedy Was Not Good, Mayor Pete. He Was Not Good.

We do not need another one.

Say it ain't so, Pete.

In an interview with Cosmo this week, Mayor Pete Buttigieg decided to talk about his plans for the Supreme Court by ... praising former Supreme Court Justice and lifelong Republican Anthony Kennedy, who stepped down so Donald Trump could put Brett Kavanaugh on the Court.

So I've floated several ideas and deliberately kept some level of open-mindedness about which ones are going to work best. One of them would be to have 15 members, but 5 of them can only be seated if the other 10 unanimously agree. The idea here is you get more justices who think for themselves. Justices like Justice Kennedy or Justice Souter, and there are many legal scholars who think this could be done without a constitutional amendment under current law.


Where to start?

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Rudy Giuliani Says He Never Met Ukrainian Oligarch Dmitry Firtash, And You Can Take That To The Bank!

And Bill Barr saw NOTHING! You bet!

When Mama Nancy says "all roads lead to Putin," she ain't kidding. She might have added, "and they all run straight through Ukraine on their way to Russia." Turns out Trump's big plan to take out Joe Biden was cooked up by a Ukrainian oligarch as a gift to the Trump administration, which he hoped would suddenly decide not to extradite him to face bribery charges in the US. Because the best way to beat a bribery charge is ... with another bribe which is also an illegal campaign finance contribution laundered through the Justice Department. Watergate Schmatergate!

Our story begins this summer when Dmitry Firtash, described by the Justice Department as an "upper-echelon [associate] of Russian organized crime," decided to fire Lanny Davis and replace him with disheveled Fox shills Victoria Toensing and Joe diGenova. Lanny Davis, a one-time lawyer for the Clintons, was a useful conduit to Trumpland when he represented Michael Cohen. But with Cohen flipping on Trump and taking that sabbatical in Otisville, Firtash went looking for someone who could bypass all those annoying Justice Department lawyers to get his case in front of the Big Orange Cheese himself.

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