Elections

Disgraced Former MO Gov Eric Greitens Shouts LOCK HER UP In Pathetic Attempt To Get Trump Nod

Lord these people are vile.

Has there ever been a pack of more gullible numpties than the Trump family? A crew of more reliably un-self-aware and craven marks for the shadiest, most transparently self-serving charlatans?

That was a rhetorical question obviously. But just look at the big, dumb failson.



How very dare this person campaign on a promise of investigating their political enemies, wonders man whose father led chants of LOCK HER UP and told Hillary Clinton to her face that he was going to put her in jail if he got elected. The invocation of George Soros, the Jewish supposed mastermind behind a Black lawyer elected by 62 percent of New York voters, makes it a perfect tweet.

But wait, there's more! Let's click through to that article, shall we?

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News

Wrap Your Feet In Aluminum Foil And Pull Out The Toxins!, Tabs, Wed., Jan. 19, 2022

What are we mad about today? More like what aren't we mad about, right?

It's Wednesday, and we're already in the mood to punch this week in the face. YAY!

Late last night New York Attorney General Letitia James dropped a motion to compel testimony by Donald Trump, Don Jr., and Ivanka Trump. In it, she laid out all the reasons she's investigating the family business, the same way she did back in 2020 when Eric Trump refused to testify. Kinda makes you wonder what these brain geniuses thought was going to happen when they did the same thing in 2022.

Vladimir Putin is holding a gun to Ukraine's head and threatening to shoot if Europe won't promise to roll back the 20th century. Axios says that Russia is using joint military exercises in its client state Belarus as a cover to station troops near Ukraine's northern border in preparation for an invasion. NYT has a story about Secretary of State Anthony Blinken's upcoming meeting with his Russian counterpart on Friday.

Over at the Supreme Court, Sen. Ted Cruz continues to prove himself the most useless git in Washington. He's the plaintiff in a campaign finance suit to vindicate the sacred right of donors to put money directly into the pockets of candidates because that is "free speech. There's a good rundown at Law & Crime and you can listen to oral argument at 10. Don't worry, you won't hear Ted Cruz's voice.

Chuck Schumer is doing ... something??? Is the plan to embarrass Manchin and Sinema into agreeing to a carve out in the filibuster for voting rights? Well, as everyone's favorite notary public Peggy Hill would say, "I hope those cats know how to run a toy store." [Politico]

Have we mentioned that Justice Gorsuch is a dick? Oh, we have? Well, let's mention it more, shall we? Because yesterday, he referred to the "so called separation of church and state," and then he had a total shitfit after the court wouldn't step in and force the city of Fredericksburg, Virginia to allow a church to take a tax deduction reserved for ministerial housing on property occupied by lay staffers. Discrimination against Christians is EVERYWHERE, insists the guy who refuses to see racial discrimination in the most insane racial gerrymander.

And while I am being mad about a thing, I was very mad yesterday at my other gig about Bill Barr's upcoming memory hole memoir and a lawsuit filed by inmates at an Arkansas jail who thought they were getting vitamins, antivirals, and steroids to treat their COVID, but were instead being dosed with horse dewormer. GRRRRR ARRRGHHHH!

In the category of still mad about a thing, there's a fun follow up story at the Chronicle of Higher Education on the ongoing saga of the University of Florida's quest to stop its professors from testifying against the DeSantis administration as it tries to ratfuck elections and cancel free speech. Is it a good thing when the judge threatens to haul the lawyer in to Tallahassee to answer questions under oath? Asking for the University's lawyer.

So you know that hostage situation in the Texas synagogue over the weekend? The one where Gov. Gregg Abbott raced to take credit the second it was over, despite the fact that the FBI was the one handling the negotiations? Just to be totally clear, the credit belongs to Rabbi Charlie Cytron-Walker, who made sure the coast was clear and threw a chair at the attacker while the other hostages ran out the door.

KOL HA KAVOD!

And speaking of religion, over at Flux our pal Matthew Sheffield had an interesting conversation with Bruce Wilson about the links between Christian nationalism and the January 6 Capitol Insurrection.

Lest you think it's all bad news, Atlanta's NBC affiliate has a fun story on Brian Kemp and David Perdue kicking the shit out of each other in the Georgia gubernatorial primary. More than a year after the election which saw him booted out of the senate, Perdue filed this dumbshit lawsuit rehashing a bunch of debunked fraud claims, and now Kemp is suing the Perdue campaign alleging campaign finance violations. Hey, if these two assholes want to bloody each other up before one of 'em faces off against Stacey Abrams in November, who are we to argue?

And HOSANNA the January 6 Select Committee finally got around to subpoenaing Rudy Giuliani, Jenna Ellis, and Sidney Powell. Oh pleasepleaseplease let there be public testimony for us to liveblog!

Finally, a follow up to Monday's post on DirecTV, which is owned by AT&T, dropping OAN from its lineup. Media Matters reports that OAN "personality" Dan Ball is asking viewers to dig up dirt on AT&T's chairman William Kennard, in light of the cancelation, which is a potential death blow to Trump's propaganda sidepiece.

LOLOL, CRY HARDER, WEIRDO.

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Legal

How Is Gabby Giffords Being A Hero Today?

When Donald Trump closes a door, Gabby Giffords opens a window.

Former Rep. Gabby Giffords is kicking ass and taking names in a lawsuit filed this week against the National Rifle Association. In it, her eponymous non-profit alleges that the NRA engaged in a years-long scheme to violate campaign finance laws by illegally coordinating ad spending with the campaigns of President Donald Trump and Senators Josh Hawley, Thom Tillis, Cory Gardner, Matt Rosendale, Tom Cotton, and Ron Johnson. The complaint, first flagged by the Daily Beast, points to $35 million in illegal expenditures and demands that the court assess that amount as a fine payable to Uncle Sam.

But why isn't the Federal Election Commission bringing this suit, you are asking? Yes, you are very wise! And the answer is that Republicans really don't want there to be any cops on the beat policing campaign finance, so Trump left the FEC without a quorum between July and December 2020, i.e. during the election. Also, Republicans hate campaign finance laws, and they make sure to deadlock votes on any serious enforcement action. And so it was hardly surprising that when Giffords (the organization, not the hero) filed four FEC complaints in 2018 and 2019 alleging that the NRA had engaged in massive violations of campaign finance law, nothing happened.

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campaign finance

TN State Senator Indicted For Hilarious Campaign Finance Hijinks

And the feds seem awfully, awfully interested in our old pal Matt Schlapp.

Get in the car, kids, it's time for a road trip! We're off to Tennessee to visit a political scandal so tiny and perfect in its sleaziness that all who behold it are filled with joy, or at least an extremely satisfying case of schadenfreude and hope that it'll come back around to bite a familiar villain in the ass. (Wait for it!)

Yesterday the US Attorney from the Middle District of Tennessee announced an indictment of state Sen. Brian Kelsey and "social club owner" Joshua Smith on campaign finance charges. It is a delightful document full of fun little Easter eggs like:

Unindicted Coconspirator 2 ("UCC 2") was a practicing attorney and member of the Tennessee House of Representatives from in or around January 2013 to in or around September 2016, when he was expelled by a vote of the House.

O RLLY?

Or this:

Individual 1 was the Director of Government Affairs for Political Organization 1 and a member of Political Organization 1's senior management team from in or around late 2015 until in or around March 2017. In that role, Individual 1 managed Political Organization 1's political expenditures during the 2015-16 federal election cycle. Individual 1 and KELSEY became engaged in or around July 2017 and married in or around January 2018.

That egg is chocolate!

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