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Canada Breathes Sigh Of Relief As Ted Cruz Denies Canadian Citizenship

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Birth certificates were all the rage a couple years ago. But now they are so passé, except for a few wingnutters out there. However, GOP Canadian-born Anchor Babby extraordinaire Ted Cruz (R-Calgary) is trying to put a new twist on an old favorite. Per The Hill:

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex.) released his birth certificate to the Dallas Morning News on Sunday, a move that will undercut critics who say he’s ineligible to run for president.

As our rude upstairs neighbor, Canada regularly shits its worst turds upon the United States (Celine Dion, Avril Lavigne, The Biebs), but this is an unfortunate new low. However, Cruz is having none of this ‘born in Canada, therefore a Canadian citizen’ stuff.

Apparently, just like the U.S. of A (#1 bitchez!!1!), anyone born in Canada is automatically a Canadian citizen and is eligible for 40 melting glaciers and a moose. This creates Prezzy ambition issues for Cruz:

However, The Dallas Morning News reports that under Canadian law, Cruz’s birthplace of Calgary also made him an instant citizen of Canada.

Cruz spokeswoman Catherine Frazier disputed the notion that Cruz was also a citizen of Canada.

Apparently, you can ignore Canadian law as long as your spokesperson ‘disputes a notion.’ Good to know.

Frazier goes on to note:

“Senator Cruz became a U.S. citizen at birth, and he never had to go through a naturalization process after birth to become a U.S. citizen,” she told The Dallas Morning News. “To our knowledge, he never had Canadian citizenship, so there is nothing to renounce.”

We here at Wonket would still like to see Cruz renounce his Canadian citizenship. Otherwise, it will be difficult for him to run on the Renounced Foreign Citizenship ticket with Shely Bachmann (R-Switzerland).

None of this even matters, since Cruz does not have three dragons born of fire, making it very unlikely that he will ever cross the narrow sea and sit upon the Iron Throne.

[The Hill]

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photo by Dominic Gwinn

There was a time, a few months ago, when everyone had written off Elizabeth Warren. Well, not me, because I am a fabulous genius, but lots of other people. The "very reasonable" talking heads on all the various news channels, the kind of people who used to say things like "Oh, we'd like universal health care too, but 'the people' will never go for it!" but who definitely did not actually want universal health care for any reason, and even the Trump campaign. Though, to be fair, the Trump campaign didn't think Trump had much of a chance of winning in 2016 either.

But now, as more and more people hear her speak, hear her plans, hear what she wants to do and how she wants to do it... Elizabeth Warren is rising up in the polls. She's a contender. In the most recent Quinnipiac poll, she was closing in on Sanders for second place nationally, and in California and Nevada polls, she's in second place.

And now, according to a report from Politico, the Trump campaign is now scrambling and panicking and... stalking her?

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