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There is literally nothing more important on Earth than America Online's purchase of Arianna Huffington's celebriporn blog.Nothing. This is why Canadian agents provocateurs are leaving comments on the NYT calling for insurrection. Insurrection! This particular Canadian (we hide his assumed name to protect ourselves from the tanks of oppression) wants HuffPo bloggers to quit writing free blog posts for the HuffPo. Sounds like sedition to us!


Didn't anybody pay attention to Barack Obama's toastmasters presentation at the Chamber of Commerce meeting in the IHOP this morning? We are all pro-business now! ALL OF US. Write your free blog posts and do it like you love it, or else AOL could fail.

Listen to this traitor Canadian:

It is time to rebel, Egypt style. Don't file your blogs unless there is at least a token reward, a minimum $20 for well thought copy of 60 words or less, and much more for in-depth pieces.

Rebel. Bloggers are being taken advantage of on Huffington Post and on other so-called news sites which depend on free labor. Demand payment. Rebel.

Rudy H______

Canada

Canada! We knew it.

Uh, twenty dollars is a bit steep for anything that gets less than about 20,000 page views. (Trust us on this.) But we agree that Huffington Post bloggers should get like a dollar per blog post, as long as they write no more than two blog posts per month. That's the ultimate goal, for America: Reduce the number of blog posts and twitters and status updates and comments and everything, just reduce reduce reduce, to save money, for health care or something.

[NYT/Wall Street Journal]

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It's the night before the two-night Democratic primary debate extravaganza, and we're already tired. Turns out having 20 candidates spread across two nights when only six or eight of them matter is not the must-see TV we all thought it was going to be! But that's not to dissuade you from getting excited! We're excited! We're so excited! We're so ...

Giphy

SCARED!

In case you need a reminder, here is how it's going to go down:

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Lately he's been blowing smoke from another orifice.

After a cursory examination of the TWELVE filings in the case against California Congressman Duncan Hunter just in the past 24 hours, we can confidently declare that that guy is a fucking idiot. The prosecutors have him by every last one of his short and curlies -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to pay for hundreds of thousands of dollars of ski trips, video games, tuition, and plane tickets for the family rabbit.

A rational human being would have pleaded down a year ago and given up his congressional seat, since he could cash out and make a lot more money as a lobbyist anyway. But not Duncan Hunter! He made the federal government chase him down and document every last carton of cigarettes, round of tequila, and Uber ride of shame home from his many girlfriends' houses in a 60-count indictment filed last August. And still this dumb sumbitch refused to admit he was caught, even after his lovely wife (and co-conspirator) Margaret Hunter flipped on him this month -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to carry on multiple affairs and you piss off the US Attorneys enough that they put every 7 a.m. Uber ride in your indictment.

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