This is actually from a DIFFERENT time a cop was shot at the Capitol.

The US Capitol -- and the White House too! -- is on lockdown just because someone decided to exercise their Second Amendment all over the visitor center. Emails telling all staff to shelter in place -- and, if you're outside, to "take cover" -- have been sent. According to the AP, the shooter's in custody. According to CNN, the White House is on lockdown because of yet another fence jumper. Everything's normal, everything's fine. Just a little shooting between friends.


But what about this summer, we were thinking when this breaking news Twitter-sploded all over our computer screen? How safe can we be if we can't Stand Our Ground all over the Republican National Convention in Cleveland? The Quicken Arena, which will host the RNC, does not allow weapons into its halls, and now nobody will be able to stop the Cleveland chapter of ISIS, or a bad guy with a gun, and the usual suspects, they are scared! What if they see a black person? How will they stand their ground?e

Luckily, a brave patriot, The Hyperationalist, has invented a petition calling on Quicken Arena not to be a bunch of pussies, and for Ohio Gov. John Kasich to nationalize the arena and let guns in if Quicken can't be bothered, and the NRA to do NRA-type things (scream and holler and hold its breath till it gets its way, mostly) so everyone at the RNC can finally be safe.

It is unclear if The Hyperationalist is trolling -- I mean, that's what we'd do in calling to bring a bunch of hotheaded crackers with unlimited guns into an enclosed space with all the remaining Republican candidates, but if he is, he doesn't break character. Let's have a fuckload of blockquote!

This is a direct affront to the Second Amendment and puts all attendees at risk. As the National Rifle Association has made clear, "gun-free zones" such as the Quicken Loans Arena are "the worst and most dangerous of all lies." The NRA, our leading defender of gun rights, has also correctly pointed out that "gun free zones... tell every insane killer in America... (the) safest place to inflict maximum mayhem with minimum risk." (March 4, 2016 and Dec. 21, 2012)

Cleveland, Ohio is consistently ranked as one of the top ten most dangerous cities in America. By forcing attendees to leave their firearms at home, the RNC and Quicken Loans Arena are putting tens of thousands of people at risk both inside and outside of the convention site.

This doesn't even begin to factor in the possibility of an ISIS terrorist attack on the arena during the convention. Without the right to protect themselves, those at the Quicken Loans Arena will be sitting ducks, utterly helpless against evil-doers, criminals or others who wish to threaten the American way of life.

All three remaining Republican candidates have spoken out on the issue and are unified in their opposition to Barack HUSSEIN Obama's "gun-free zones."

Donald Trump said "I will get rid of gun-free zones on schools—you have—and on military bases on my first day. It gets signed my first know what a gun-free zone is to a sicko? That's bait." (Jan. 8. 2016)

Ted Cruz has accurately pointed out "shooting after shooting after shooting happens in so called gun-free zones." He continued, "look, if you're a lunatic ain't nothing better then having a bunch of targets you know that are going to be unarmed." (Dec. 4, 2015)

And Ohio Governor John Kasich has been a leader in this movement to eliminate deadly "gun-free zones" starting with his brave decision to fight the Democrats and end "gun-free zones" at National Guard facilities in Ohio. (Dec. 18, 2015)

We are all too familiar with the mass carnage that can occur when citizens are denied their basic God-given rights to carry handguns or assault weapons in public. EVERY AMERICAN HAS THE RIGHT TO PROTECT AND DEFEND THEIR FAMILY. With this irresponsible and hypocritical act of selecting a "gun-free zone" for the convention, the RNC has placed its members, delegates, candidates and all US citizens in grave danger.

We must take a stand. We cannot allow the national nominating convention of the party of Lincoln and Reagan to be hijacked by weakness and political correctness. The policies of the Quicken Loans Arena do not supersede the rights given to us by our Creator in the U.S. Constitution.

(The Hyperationalist's bold. There's quite a bit more where it came from, too!)

The petition has over 40 thousand signers already -- and it's unclear how many of them are Wonkette readers having a larf.

But on the (good?) chance that all these friends and neighbors are 100 percent in earnest, and ready to protect us all from the Taliban ... in Cleveland, Ohio ... and the dumb Secret Service changes its mind about ARE THESE FUCKERS KIDDING, and the cops come with the tear gas and rubber bullets we are expecting, we'll be parking our Wonkebago on and "reporting" from the other side of town.

That was different, though. Those were hippies.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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