We are not amused

GOP presidential hopeful Carly Fiorina just loves her juicy fibs. Bill Clinton's wife has never been criticized for her appearance for basically all of the last 25 years. She WATCHED THE VIDEO! of Planned Parenthood doing bad things that she could not have watched because it doesn't exist. People only say she burned Hewlett-Packard to the ground because sexism.

Her current favorite? At last week's GOP Airing of Petty Grievances, Fiorina accused the president of putting the pink in pink slip because, she said, 92 percent of workers who were laid off during his first term were women.

One would think Fiorina would be the go-to candidate when it comes to layoffs, considering the tens of thousands of Hewlett-Packard employees (men AND women) who lost their jobs during CEO Carly's Reign of Error. But her shitty executive abilities are outpaced by her pathological penchant for disinformation.

Of course this isn't true, kids. It's a thing Carly said. And she didn't even invent it herself; she stole it from the 2012 Romney campaign, because that's the go-to operation you want to emulate.

Technically, the economy started to bottom out in 2007, a year some people consider part of George Bush's second term, but in "Fiori-ality," that was just the Gestation Period of Obama's first term. Pay no attention to the employment numbers for all Americans increasing dramatically over NOBama's presidency, including the 400,000 or so lady jobs that were added during Obama's first term.

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But this time, at least, when fact-checkers called bullshit, Fiorina was willing to admit she got it all wrong. Sort of.

In an interview with ABC News' "This Week," Fiorina corrected the record.

Hey look at that, a Republican admitting a mistake. But wait. Carly proceeded to tell ABC viewers they're missing the point, which is definitely not that Carly was caught lying AGAIN. The point is that women have it rough under President Obama.

Besides, there's only one reason people are paying attention to yet another of Fiorina's lies, instead of the misogynist in the White House:

"The 92 percent, it turns out, was the first three-and-a-half years of Barack Obama's term, and in the final six months of his term things improve," Fiorina said. "But this is what the liberal media always does, it attacks the messenger trying to avoid the message."

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Stupid Liberal Media smearing Fiorina with stupid facts, ignoring the message about some arbitrary period that began at the tail end of a generationally terrible economic downturn. The Liberal Media is really acknowledging that things got better under the Hussein guy?! And what is a "fact checker" anyway? That can't be a real job -- or it wouldn't be if Carly were running things (because it would be eliminated or, on a good day, outsourced).

On Fox News Sunday, Carly modified her manufactured explanations, with a fantastic royal deflection.

FIORINA: Yes, as my campaign said, we misspoke.

Here at Yr Wonkette we are big fans of the royal "we," but we are quite certain there was only one person standing on that debate stage, lying through her teeth -- again -- and that can't be blamed on any royal campaign collectives. That one is on Carly and Carly alone. But at least for the first time in her career, she's creating jobs: for fact-checkers.



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