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Catholic League President and sole known member Bill "I think more about gay sex than any gay person ever has" Donohue has some Very Serious Concerns about the propriety of allowing gay groups to participate in next year's St. Patrick's Day parade in New York City. You see, after 25 years, several of the most recent marked by intense eye-rolling and heavy sighs from people who aren't raving haters, the parade is finally lifting its ban on openly gay marchers. But wait just a danged minute, says Donohue. In an interview with SiriusXM Progressive Radio's Michelangelo Signorile, Donahue fretted that gays -- you know how those gays are -- might simply lose control of themselves and start masturbating furiously all over the parade route, as one does sometimes?


"The question is, ‘Will the gays behave?’ Gays have been known to take their clothes off in the parade," Donohue told Signorile. "They can’t keep their pants on sometimes when they march in the gay pride parade.”

Like some kind of apologist for the Gay Agenda, Signorile countered that with all the drunkenness, vomiting, and occasional lewdness on the part of straight parade participants and viewers, the gays would prolly fit in just fine. As it were.

Signorile also reminded Donohue that he had dared the mean old gays to allow him to march with a Catholic League banner in the Pride Parade, to which the mean old gays said sure, c'mon down, big guy -- an invitation Donohue ultimately refused because there was no way the sodomites were going to force Bill Donohue to attend a "gay training session" -- i.e., the mandatory safety orientation required of all participants. Donohue also refused to wear what he called “LGBT paraphernalia,” apparently referring to a little badge indicating that he was a registered participant.

Signorile also wrote a HuffPo story about his chat with Donohue, noting that Donohue insisted that, while he might show up at next year's pride parade, there was no way on God's green earth that the gays were going to make him take off his pants.

“If I went to the gay pride parade,” he explained, “I insist on keeping my pants on. Why would you want me to take my pants off?”

Yr Wonkette would like to challenge Mr. Donohue to make an extra special effort to take up agoraphobia full time. It's a community that is especially welcoming to never-nudes such as himself.

Hey. Wait a second here. Something just occurred to us:


Uncanny, isn't it? Explains a LOT.

[New Civil Rights Movement via tip from Wonkette Operative "Jon"]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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