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Cedric the Entertainer Goes to Washington

cedric.jpgHow hard did Cedric the Entertainer bomb at the White House Correspodents Dinner? So hard Secret Service agents actually moved President Bush to an underground shelter for a few minutes during his performance. Actually he wasn't that bad. But you know the old stand-up comedy maxim: never follow a president's wife who cracks jokes about her husband giving hand-jobs to a horse. There's just no way to top it. While Cedric had some good moments, ultimately both he and the audience seemed ready to end the evening as soon as possible. Or as FishbowlDC overhead one attendee saying, "A Bush 'town hall' meeting on social security is more exciting than this."


Prom: Would You Like Some Dinner With That Wine? [FishbowlDC]

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Is there ANY good news for the bumblefucking Trump re-election campaign these days? Their polling numbers are in the shitter, therefore Trump is firing the pollsters. Trump's Hitler rally kickoff event in Florida last night was ... whatever it was. Oh, and did we mention that they ain't got no money? Like, of course, not counting whatever Russian money they're not telling us about.

Don Jr. recently called a prominent donor and warned that Trump's money haul is falling behind where Barack Obama was early in his reelection, while Jared Kushner has privately complained to RNC chairwoman Ronna Romney McDaniel that Trump's war chest is not as big as it should be at this point in the cycle.

Whiiiiiiiiiine. Guess they're gonna have to see if they can launder some rubles somewhere, ALLEGEDLY.

Gabe Sherman has some more bad news about Trump's shithole campaign, and it is that Robert and Rebekah Mercer, the father-daughter billionaire duo who bankrolled much of Trump's "victory" in 2016 -- including funding Breitbart, and also the part of the "victory" that comprised Cambridge Analytica, the data company they owned that may have done some real hinky stuff, possibly with Russia, in order to get Trump "elected" -- have zipped up their checkbooks and decided Trump can go eat dicks for all they care.

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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