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Celebrate Freedom, Russians, and Balls Rolling into Holes

Wonkabout

Wednesday, July 21: Maybe you care that today is Feestag, the Belgian copy of the French copy of the 4th of July? Of course you do, because Real Americans love using other countries' celebrations of freedom as excuses to drink, regardless of what/where actually happened. Brasserie Beck is celebrating Belgium Day tonight from 5-9PM with an all-you-can-drink-and-eat menu that includes some of their normally pricey drafts for $45. [Brasserie Beck]


  • Wednesday, July 21: The next "What's the Deal?" event, where you sign up to receive emails about deals and such in return for free drinks, is tonight at Russia House. When you go, not only will you get to enjoy how seedy the establishment is, but you can make all the jokes you want about the true identities of the women who work there. [What's The Deal]
  • Friday, July 23: According to, well, us, the Hirshhorn After Hours, is "still hot.. [and] gets a crowd not found anywhere else in DC"...  by which we must have meant well-bred hipsters who are a-okay paying $18 to not look at art while at an art gallery, but drink and play with glow-sticks instead. We have on good intel that there may just be a hula hoop competition at this Friday's party. [Hirsohhorn After Hours]
  • Sunday, July 25: This Sunday take the white man shuttle to H Street Country Club for margaritas, the best Mexican food you'll find in a Country Club in DC, and every hipster's other favorite sweat-free sport, skeeball. Registration is still open if you have a desire to battle the "Mo-Skee-Toes" and other teams for skeeball glory. [Skeeball at H Street Country Club]
  • Saturday, July 24 and Sunday, July 25: Morning editor Josh Fruhlinger will be in a pool in Baltimore pretending to be Zeus, because it is art and because his wife is making him. See him in the flesh in the water ballet, Jason and the Aquanauts: 20,000 Legs Over The Sea and while in the "The Greatest City in America" eat at the Paper Moon Diner because it is quite good, for a diner. [Fluid Movement, Paper Moon Diner]
  • Food trucks: Following all the food trucks in DC on Twitter is too much for Washingtonians who need to reserve the bulk of their day for Porn Cruisin'. Thankfully, some kind soul is now aggregating all DC food truck tweets onto one website, "Food Truck Fiesta." It's really only a matter of time before Twitter (and restaurants) are obsolete. [Food Truck Fiesta]
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While the year 2018 will be remembered for a lot of (mostly terrible) things, it should also go down in history as the year two entirely different women got married to ghosts. Most recently, a lady named Amethyst Realm (of course) made headlines by claiming that after having had sex with at least 20 different ghosts, she had finally settled down with one she met on a flight to Australia. As one does.

But before Amethyst Realm, there was Amanda Teague, a former Jack Sparrow impersonator who was very obsessed with Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean, and who in January announced that she had married the ghost of a 300 year-old pirate named Jack Teague. Teague claimed that Jack Teague had been a black Haitian pirate who at one point had been left at the altar, and had been executed for high treason. She also claimed that they had sex -- including a little pregnancy scare -- and that he once bought her a coffee maker.

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Time for another episode of Poppy's Bad Tweets, wherein we answer the eternal question, DOES COMMANDER TWITTER THUMBS HAVE A POINT, OR IS HE JUST SMOCKING CRACK?

(Spoiler alert ....)

Yeah, About That NO COLLUSION...

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