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Centenarian Rejects Obama Birthday Note

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Thanks to the Centenarian Fairy (a government employee), when old people in America make it to 100 they get a birthday card from the White House. And sometimes a foot massage from Al Roker. But mostly just the nice embossed card signed by whichever president's Autopen is currently in office. Southern California desert resident Jack Taylor is celebrating his own 100th birthday today, and he already threw Nobama's dumb card in the garbage.


The Hi-Desert Star reports in strange remedial English aimed at soothing the elderly white rural population it serves:

A letter from the White House came, congratulating Taylor on his 100th birthday. Without any malice, just a candid truthfulness, Taylor stated he threw the letter away.

“I don’t like the guy,” Taylor said with a slight chuckle. There was perhaps just a hint of apology in his tone of voice, but not too much. Like Dragnet’s Joe Friday, Taylor is a “just the facts” pragmatist.

Yeah. What?

Taylor, who was already 46 when the Civil Rights Act was passed in 1964, is maybe just tired of apologizing. [Hi-Desert Star]

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I wasn't ready for Koko the gorilla to die. She was just 46, so still young well past the upper age limit for a gorilla, but I'll miss her. She loved cats, told mildly amusing jokes, and put up with people, so she was a lot like your weird aunt.

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Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

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